The social widower

Last Sunday I received a last minute invitation to join someone who I can't call a friend, but an acquaintance. He is a nice enough bloke, Malaysian born, not short of a penny and is a member of a posh tennis club starting with Ko. 

Ray was eight years older than me. P's partner was maybe fifteen years older than him. In 2017 they were on a ship cruise and one morning and P woke to find his partner dead in bed beside him. P was 39 and I can't imagine how he handled it all. It is hard enough for me. For anyone.

We had a lovely Sunday brunch together at HobbaHobba. I am not sure if it was me who kicked him off or just his memories of his partner, but he became quite emotional. He has tried a couple of new relationships but they were not successful. It did occur to me that as he said he likes older men that ??? Nah. I don't want another relationship. He is nice enough looking but there isn't the frisson there. He is a nice bloke, insisted on paying and we hugged as we said goodbye. It was nice.

The Mr Fixer who is organising the repainting, regrouting and recarpeting invited me and a gay resident in our building who I know well, out for dinner at Gentleman GeorgeGentleman George, across the road on Tuesday night. It was a great couple of hours, even if on the cheap steak night, the steak was a bit ordinary. My fellow building resident paid.

I can't remember if I mentioned it, I am sure I did, but Sister, Bone Doctor, Jo, Ray and myself went for dinner a couple of months ago to the Oriental Teahouse for dinnerOriental Teahouse for dinner. It was very nice, so when my gay former workmate suggested we have a meal Wednesday night, I asked if he would like to try the place. We did and it was very good and we had a nice time. He paid. I've given up arguing about such things. If someone offers, I just graciously accept. I used to always leave the messy business of money when we were out to Ray and the next day he would note down how much I owed him.

Thursday was a hospital appointment. Friday I will take the car out for weekly shopping, mainly to restock the wine cellar. (I did)

But the social hasn't finished. Saturday, Firefighting Nephew and his wife, and three children are visiting the Melbourne Aquarium for the two year old twin boy's birthday, and they have invited me to join them.  (twin make it singular, so boy's is correct and not boys'?) 

Sunday Jo is attending some Cos Play thing in Melbourne, with Bone Doctor driving her here, so I will have lunch with Bone Doctor. 

Best dash now. I've popped my dinner, Ginger lime fish curry with broccoli and brown rice into the microwave. 

But wait, as I was to set to publish, Hairdresser Friend called and asked if I'd like to have dinner with her tomorrow, well tonight as this is published, Saturday night. Of course. At my age, I take what is offered. 

Friday Funny

Blogger JB on a warm and sunny island far, far away, has been writing about soap, whether it is a bar or cake of soapbar or cake of soap, and then about the small soapssmall soaps you find in hotels and other accommodation. I was reminded of this story, which I found quite funny.

The Saga of Hotel Soap

The following letters were taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of it's guests. The Hotel submitted the letters to the London Sunday Times for their humour column.

Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this morning that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM.Thank you,

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

- On the shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- On the Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
- On the bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet,
- 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
- Inside the medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
- In the shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist.
- On the northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
- On the northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman

Many Quacks

Paperwork is not progressing. I need a certified copy of Ray's will and for whatever reason, it has not been forthcoming. No doubt to clear their storage, the company is also sending me Ray's original will.  

Nor is sending a portion of ashes to Ray's sister in England going well. Australia Post won't take ashes, nor will DHL Express. Another company will, but it is harder work to use them. I got so far with the company's website and stalled. I gave up but I will return.

I can't finalise anything with Ray's bank until I have a certified copy of Ray's will. I just don't seem to be able to complete anything. 

I've been busy organising Ray's memorial gathering. Oldest niece will bluetooth the music I have selected for the mostly family gathering to the venue's sound system. I did at least tick that list off today.  I'm still working on my speech but I did wrap up all the planning at the venue yesterday

WWWWWW was so right. The best laid plans of mice and men. I was carless that night. A part was needed and I couldn't pick up the car until late afternoon. Late afternoon I was at medical appointment, so I will collect the car tomorrow, nay yesterday. 

The medical appointment was because last Thursday after waiting over half an hour for a hospital outpatients appointment, I fainted and fell to the floor. I jumped back into my chair and a woman asked me if I was ok. I replied yes, and I felt fine. Staff must have noticed and before I knew it I was surrounded by nurses, doctors, on a trolley, emergency doctors and whisked off to ICU with extremely low blood pressure. My left hand hand was punctured with a needle as a couple of litres of saline was pumped into me. My right wrist was punctured for some other injections. Monitoring wires were attached all over me. 

I thought this is an awful fuss just because I fainted, but then why was my blood pressure so low? 

I arrived at the hospital at 10 and at 1 I asked the nurse for something to eat and coffee. She obliged with sandwiches and coffee. I was then moved to a short stay bed, as my blood pressure had risen but I was still wired up.

A pleasant young volunteer lad asked me if I wanted anything. I expect he was a case of  'to receive unemployment benefits, you must do a certain amount of volunteer work per fortnight'. He was nice and unhurried. Eventually he brought me some coffee, some fruit salad and finally, a table to eat from. Laconic, but a sweetie. 

Nothing much was then happening. I called the nurse at 6 and told her I was going home. She was reluctant but eventually brought a self discharge form, and then said but wait a bit, a doctor will be here shortly, which she was. Dinner arrived and I said I would eat some food but then I was leaving (saves cooking). Doctor arrived and she wanted to keep me overnight and at some point that night a cardiologist would visit me. I argued back, I am going home. She pressed the point of me fainting again and the danger of head injury. I need to stay. No, I am not staying. I have left the heating on at home, meat thawing, I have my phone and wallet with me but nothing else. It was a lie I told her that no one could had access to my apartment to help me. She understood I was actually going to leave. She went away.

The nurse returned and said I wouldn't need the discharge form as the doctor had worked a discharge plan for me.  The essence was, see my cardiologist asp and return to the hospital for outpatient appointments.

Tuesday I saw my cardiologist, who I like very much... no, no, not in that way. Being carless, I caught the tram, but I was going to anyway. School had just come out, so I played the game, 'spot the gay school boy'. Of course I never know if I am right. Associate Professor said it was nothing to do with my heart, but for someone with high blood pressure that is well treated, and at a perfect score, it could be higher without any risk, so I will reduce your blood pressure medication to give you a better buffer. Wise man.

I know what caused me to faint, that is low blood pressure after a long wait for my appointment, with my head down looking at my phone with the worst arthritic pain in my neck I've ever experienced. I am now carrying pain killers with me. I take them at times reluctantly.

The time before was when I was having neck stiches removed after melanoma surgery and after twenty minutes, I felt faint and had to lie down, and my blood pressure had dropped very low. I think I was in shock.

The only thing that worries me is I think I also fainted at Tradie Brother's 60th birthday and fell back into bins, and I don't know why that happened. Oh well, I'm still alive. But I am being rather cautious at the moment. Back to hospital today for the appointment I missed last Thursday. That'll teach 'em to keep me waiting so long. 

Car remote fob batteries

On the car dashboard display, a while ago a message told Ray that his key fob battery was low. The message only came up once, then about a month later it came up again. The fob was working as it should, so I doubted the message. Just days ago while using my own fob, the same message came up. Ray's fob had a lot more use than mine.

I think the car is nearly three years old. I suppose the fob batteries could be failing. I'd heard car dealerships places charge a bomb to replace fob batteries. We had one battery of the correct size, CR2032. I decided to change my fob battery.

But how to? There aren't screws to undo but YouTube to the rescue. I had the appropriate small screwdriver to do the job of just jamming it into the where the two halves of the shell meet, twisting it to lever off one half, then lever off the battery cover, flick the battery out still using the screwdriver, and Bob's your mother's brother. 

Beaming with success I bought another two batteries, the smallest pack, at the supermarket and replaced Ray's key fob battery too. 

So, I am not expecting to see that message again for a few years. However, this comes with the proviso that my battery replacement really is successful, as I haven't driven the car since.

Later, by the time this is published, I have driven the car once and both fob units are working. 

Just out of perhaps interest, something I didn't know when we bought the car. That is how the car unlocks and locks. The fob needs to be with you. You put your hand on either the driver or passenger door handle as if to open it, the car unlocks and you can then pull the handle to open the door. The car locks as you walk away from the car and the fob goes out of range. However, sometimes if you do things a bit differently from the normal open the door, get out and walk away, the locking won't activate. So I always look back to check the exterior mirrors have folded in, which tells me the car has locked. It does beep but not that loudly. 

This morning the car is seeing its doctors. When the electric tail gate unlocks before it lifts, it is making a loud and alarming cracking noise. Google tells me it is a known issue so it should be an easy fix and under warranty. While it is being fixed, I will walk a short distance to a new Coles supermarket to buy a few things, frozen broccoli, soda water and cocktail tomatoes. This sounds all so simple. Why do I think it won't be.  

Monday Mural

Linking to SamiSami and others for Monday Mural. 

A rat or a possum? Is it holding a pair of scissors? Is it holding a skull? Is the cut branch significant? Was the branch cut with the scissors? So many questions without answers. 

Sunday Selections

I am joining with Elephant's Childnull, RiverRiver and others for Sunday selections. Most of the photos this week aren't mine and you will note a vehicles on steel tracks theme. (I see linking hasn't been fixed. I wonder how it will appear when published)

Immediately I recognised this vehicle, located in the US. Do you know it? Its common name too. 

Photos from Shorpy.com . It's cold wherever these train are in the US.  

Lots of steam and smoke.

This one is so cold its nose is dribbling and the dribble has frozen.

What a marvellous looking train, which I seem to remember ran down a street in New York City.

This is a long one but oddly there is only one engine towing. I would guess there is also one at the rear pushing. 

More photos from different floors in our building. I don't know which park this is but it seems spot on for the 1st of June, the official start of our winter. 

Southbank, I should think, looking towards the city over the Yarra River.

Looking past the fountain at the National Gallery of Victoria to theatre building with rather odd lighting. 

The once kiosk, now a cafe, at the end of St Kilda Pier.

Two spoons. How can this be interesting, you ask. The one on the left comes from our cutlery drawer, the one on the right from a gift of a canteen of cutlery. It doesn't show up very well but the right has ridges along the length of the handle. One set is going to the a charity shop. I thought maybe the newer one with the ridges would be nicer to have.

One Christmas Hippie Niece and the father of her twins phoned a few years ago and asked what they could buy us as a Christmas gift. We said, a set of six steak knives. Instead we received the canteen of cutlery. Go figure! We subsequently bought out own steak knives and the cutlery set was never used.

What I did discover is that the nicer looking unused set weighed half the weight of our regular set, so the regular set is staying. So that, along with a full set of ornate silver plated cutlery, not used for a couple of decades, are both going to the charity shop.  

The spare room wardrobe was overdue a clean out. I took old board games, jigsaws and a few other bits to the charity shop, but the shop didn't want the Christmas tree as they didn't have storage space. Another might. Some months ago I cleaned out my own wardrobe. There is only the huge job of tackling Ray's wardrobe and drawers left. I want to complete most of this before the painting and recarpeting starts.