It's Complicated

Remember my post about the Hazara Moslem refugees? It was sad to realise how they have suffered around the world. I am sure many of you expressed sympathy for their plight. 

Then you read this about Hazara in Victoria's own town of Shepparton. There wasn't too much mother love coming from Jan. 

I don't want this crap in my Australia. 

The court was told on Tuesday this was not the first time Jan had forced Haidari into marriage.

When she was aged 15, her mother forced her to marry a different man, which ended in divorce.

After the divorce, Haidari was considered as “bewa” by the Hazara community in Shepparton, meaning she had lost her value.

“That brought a level of shame both to Ms Haidari and the family,” Renton said.

“[Jan] was motivated at least in part to restore that reputation.”

Jan held a position of trust in Haidari’s life as her only living parent, and the offending represented a “significant breach” of that, he said.

However, Renton accepted Jan could not have known Halimi was going to murder her daughter.

“It’s a tragic case, no one anticipated the outcome,” he said. “All the evidence was that he was being promoted as ‘a good boy’; sadly, he wasn’t.”

Today, tomorrow, yesterday

Whichever day it is for you, as I type this it is Thursday the 25th of July, three months after Ray died. While I wish he lasted many more years, and his quick death was a terrible shock to everyone and life changing for me, I am glad his suffering was only some stomach pain for a few hours. 

Just in March, here he was in a photo taken by me holding a bunch of flowers sent by his sisters in England for 75th birthday. To me he doesn't look like someone who would die a month later. 

I have another melanoma, caught very early by my skin cancer expert doctor. Even so, it still means surgery, and a skin graft will be taken from my thigh. I don't even need a full anaesthetic. The worst thing is I won't be able to wet my scalp for around 12 weeks. I expect surgery will be soon as melanomas are taken very seriously by our public health system.

The painters invaded my living, dining, kitchen and desktop computer area today. They are so considerate and made the best of it as they could for me but until they left, I had no access to my desktop or kitchen. 

I went off for shopping in the car and the painters suggested that was a good idea because they will be using oil paint and the smell will be bad. 

I didn't want a pepper steak pie, nor famous South Melbourne Market dim sims, nor a bacon and egg muffin. I bought a curried egg sandwich at the supermarket and headed to the beach where I found one place selling coffee open on a a grey and rainy day. I moved on to an area where I knew I could eat my sandwich and coffee, under shelter from the light rain and stare out to sea, as old people do. The only activity on the beach was one couple walking along the firm sand, she with an umbrella. A couple of freighters were on the sea horizon, awaiting for orders I suppose. Yes, today I had a case of the sads, or the blues.

The night before I tried to buy a product online. The postage cost was two thirds of the cost of the product. Fuck off. I also tried Airbnb to book a night or two of accommodation to attend the fifth birthday celebration of a great niece. I found a nice enough place at a reasonable price but Airbnb wanted me to upload a face photo. Again, fuck off. I could stay at Sister's but I don't want to unless I'm invited. So, it will be a day trip.   

But there is always good news. The daughter of Ex Sis in Law's husband is pregnant with her second child. She miscarried last year, and this time she has passed the first trimester. Much happiness and fingers crossed. She and her hot husband are great parents to their two year old daughter. 

My home will never be the same again, and the dust, oh the dust. 

Milwaukee meltdown

#45 had some kind of huge political gathering in the US city Milwaukee that caused the gay hook up app Grindr to collapse under the strain. The extra users were mostly faceless, meaning they just appeared as anonymous without a photo on their profile. 

The homophobic Republican Party has many supporters who are homos and looking for a bit of quick jiggy jig. Extraordinary! But then the Republican Party has many female supporters who think the law and men should control their bodies. Republic Party supporters are strange with their strong opinions against basic human rights, yet would vote for someone like #45

Grindr map of US activity, courtesy Star Observer. 

Road rules

A motorist yelled at me today. I was crossing a street illegally against a flashing red man. However, it should have been quite safe to do so as turns from the cross street are banned, with flashing no left turn and no right turn lights. I hesitated as I was half way across as from the corner of my eye I saw a threat. A car was illegally turning right. I turned around to him and held the palm of my hand upright, to suggest what was he doing? The left hand passenger window came down and I received a mouthful of abuse. 

It's funny how people react when they are challenged over something they are doing wrong. They abuse the accuser when the person himself or herself have done the wrong thing. My illegal crossing inconvenienced no one and was quite safe. He had traffic banked up behind him as he waited to make the illegal turn. 

Does abusing an accuser mean anything to you? It can often be political tactic. 

Too long

I stole a couple of photos online, but surely it is ok if I credit them and say how good they are. 

The first was from JayCee I think around Christmas time. This was her accommodation somewhere I have forgotten. I remember I looked at the hotel website, and wow, in more ways than one.

And this lighthouse photo was by Frogdancer. I changed the photo name to FDancerKrools. I now have no idea of what krools meant. Canada perhaps? It's a very fine lighthouse. 

I may as well continue with photos that have hung around for too long. These two are from Shorpy.com

The American male yoof of the 1950s? Mine is blond. Not sure about yours. 

I believe this is funny man Jack Benny and his wife climbing down the steps of a train. One of his wives, perhaps. They look so elegant. Five seconds of comprehensive research tells me Mary Livingstone was his only wife. 

 

A filum

It's been a while since I've watched a film. The last at a theatre was of course with Ray. 

I've watched Good Luck to You, Leo Grande,  and I really enjoyed it. It isn't a film that I would have been happy to pay full price to see at the cinema, but for free (thanks Anon), well worth my while. 

The Irish accented of exotic heritage actor Daryl McCormack was smoking hot and had great acting skills. I don't need to mention Emma Thompson's acting skills.  

It isn't a film I will forget. Sex among older people or what they may just think about in a sexual manner is interesting. Regrets at missed opportunities it seems from the film? 

Aside from the acting, the Leo character was just such a charmer with a beautiful Irish accent. I've since watched a couple of interviews of Daryl, and he seems so nice as a real (publicly performing) person.

Daryl is 188cm tall, 6'2" and has a very nice body and if you've seen the film, he was not behind the back door when gifting was handed out. 

I tried the same site for another film I had noted, Supernova. It's a film about an older gay couple, one who seems to have dementia. It is slow and ponderous but I will watch it to the end. It is free on YouTube. 

My fettuccini slipped down the drain

You've got to admit, I can write a clickbait headline.

It was a bit of a sad evening but with a rather nice meal. In the freezer there was a bolognaise sauce Ray had made. I finally thawed it out today and made myself a meal of... fettuccini bolognaise.

Firstly I poured a glass of wine as I contemplated how to do this. There are things I need to remember. 

Pasta sauce, tick. Pasta, a choice of spaghetti or fettuccini. I chose the latter. I've no idea how much pasta to use. I have no idea of how long to cook pasta. I can't use my favourite kitchen tool, a skewer to see if it is cooked. 

A pot to heat the sauce and a pot of boiling water to cook the pasta. Me is not totally stupid. The sauce looked too watery and needed reducing. I did.

Garlic bread! I must have that. There was some frozen so I warmed that overcooked that in the airfryer. I warmed a plate in the microwave. I am getting good at this cooking thing.

I poured myself another glass of wine. But wait, I need grated parmesan cheese. Again the freezer provided.

I set the small part of the dining table that I'd cleaned from paint sanding dust, with a place mat and cutlery? I poured myself another glass of wine. Ah yes, I remembered a soup spoon and a fork to eat pasta bolognaise. Cool. This is going so well. Spag bol can me messy. I am using up Christmas themed serviettes from the sideboard, so I added one to the table. They are of such high quality and so large, it's more like wiping your mouth with a bath towel rather than a paper serviette. 

It was time for another glass of wine as I anticipated plating up my dinner. This will be delicious.

 

How do I get the fettuccini out of the pot of boiling water? Tongs? No, I think a calendar colander is the right way but the wine had given me clarity of thought. I am sure I've seen Ray drain off pasta by using the lid on the pot to retain the pasta while pouring the water down the sink. Yes, simple...except the fettuccini all slid out of the pot into the sink as well. I said a very bad word. Can the meal be saved?

Now, I had cleaned the sink that day. Boiling water had preceded the pasta. The sink must be clean and sterilised by boiling water, so I retrieved the pasta with tongs and put it on my plate. Not too much fettuccini slid down the drain. Note to self. Have one more glass of wine before preparing a meal to get it right. 

The meal was delicious but I am not sure if the pasta was al dente or overcooked. The end bits of the fettuccini were a little tough. If you don't hear from me for a few days, please call emergency services.  

And there is another serve of Ray's now thawed bolognaise sauce in the fridge to use up. Should I make a cottage pie with it? That can't be hard. Just put mashed spuds on top of the sauce, sprinkle with grated cheese, heat and brown. Can a spag bol sauce be used for a cottage pie? I feel another kitchen disaster coming on. 

There was also a mysterious container in the freezer containing what? I wasn't sure until I thawed it out. It was pea and ham soup that Sister brought a day or two after Ray died. I ate it for lunch the next day after thawing with toast. It was a thin vegetable laden pea and ham soup with nice chunks of ham, quite unlike my very thick and mature pea and ham soup.

NB. I did not drink as much wine as was in the story.