The personal

The painting has finished, thank god. My ensuite shower wall tiles have been regrouted. The bathroom with the shower over the bath should be regrouted today or tomorrow. Monday new carpet will be laid. I have spent hours cleaning away sanding dust, washing everything that used to sit on the shelves, the two bookcases, the wardrobe door tracks, wiping down light switches. It seemed unending but there is not too much more to do now. The dishwasher has played its part in getting things clean but some many things just can't go in a dishwasher. What a mess.

It is pointless to set up the lighting in our lounge room until the carpet is laid, so I only have two lamps working at the moment.

I had a case of the sads the week past. I try to not think about times past with Ray but I can't help it at times. Tomorrow it will be one year since Mother died. What a momentous 12 months since. Not in my wildest dreams did I think Ray would not be here for the first anniversary of her death. 

Reminders are constant. Just yesterday in the South Melbourne Aldi carpark, a woman who I knew by sight was sitting, waiting to be picked up by a volunteer driver. I knew her name and she used to be transported by Ray at times in his volunteer role. As I was walking towards her, 'Excuse me. Are you a friend of Ray? I've seen you together. Where is Ray? I haven't seen him for ages.' Margaret is a good talker, as I know how she delayed Ray if we were there shopping. I explained all to her, and a snap decision by me, told her I was kind of a relative, as she asked if I was. I regret that and if I see her again I will tell her we had been in love for 45 years. 

Of regrets, I have a few. I know Ray loved me and he knew I loved him. I really don't think we told each other this often enough. We took each other for granted. We rarely talked about personal feelings... no, more I didn't. Ray made his feelings quite clear about many things and people, including me. I am a fairly insular and practical person and I think that frustrated him at times. But there you go. Whoever has the perfect relationship, please stand up. 

Towards the end of the of this month we were to holiday in Queensland. Webjet arranged a Virgin airline credit, to be used in six month. That just is not going to happen. Webjet says, don't contact airlines directly. We will deal with problems, and by golly they have. I called and got through quickly, and I applied for a refund on compassionate grounds. I had supply a death certificate copy and a proof of a relationship. I send a council rates bill copy.  While it looks like a fait accomopli, I will have to wait for up to 12 weeks for a refund. Webjet has just been terrific and I am truly amazed. 

I did have a nice two hour brunch with my neighbour a few days ago. She can certainly talk too, but that's fine. I enjoy her company and we text each other each morning to make sure neither of us is with as stroke on the floor. I have two medical procedures next week and she will pick me up afterwards on both occasions. The cafe, new to us, was nice. I think this is a for hire room.

A piano! I could once play a little bit. Mother could play when she was young. It is not like riding a bicycle. You forget. Oddly, H said that while in her job as a medical receptionist, she touched typed, she can't do so now. I had a long absence of touch typing in the late 80s into the mid 90s, but I 've never forgotten. 

Enough blabber.