Thursday, January 29, 2026

Slapping the missus and breast cancer

Written some time in 2024.

A random statistic I heard, one in seven Australian women will have breast cancer. Yes, even within the small circle I move in, I've known a number. In spite of much better treatments and results now, it is still a hell on earth treatment. And I complain about a three centimetre incision.

Unrelated:

Hey mate, how was your night?

Not great man. Things weren't good at home. I fucked up and gave the missus a rough time. 

What, you gave her a slap? 

Yeah, a bit more than a slap. 

Maaaate, you can't be doing that. You've got to get some self control.

Yeah, I know, but she deliberately pushes my buttons and then starts nagging. I have a couple of beers and I get so angry. She really provokes me, like she does it deliberately. 

Maaaayyyte, you are fucked in the head. You need to talk to someone, a professional, or at least one of those help lines. 

Yeah, I know. I hate myself for it, but I just can't help it.

Rinse and repeat, and in which country in the world does this not happen in some form. 

37 comments:

  1. My cousin's daughter over there in NSW has been hospitalised several times after beatings by her drug addled boyfriend. He now has her hooked so she doesn't have the willpower to escape that treadmill of drugs and abuse.

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    1. Just awful JayCee. There is nothing more to say.

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  2. This is such a raw and honest look at two very different, but equally heavy, realities. It’s a sobering reminder that while some battles are medical, others are deeply personal and systemic. I actually just shared a new post that offers a different perspective on life's challenges, and I’d value your thoughts on it.

    www.melodyjacob.com

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  3. Drunks disease and partner bashing need eliminating as does prostate cancer . Men need to be more supported with prostate cancer awareness

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    1. How much more can men be told to at least have a PSA test, included in basic blood tests?

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  4. I can think of several more pairs of unrelated blog topics to cover in the mysterious world of "From the High Rise" such as budgie breeding in the suburbs of Melbourne and the later works of Sergei Sergeyevich Prokofiev.

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    1. Granted YP, the talented Ukrainian is worth a post. I'll leave that one with you.

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  5. Replies
    1. Linda, a man here today was sentenced to thirty years gaol for killing his wife by pouring petrol over her and setting her alight. His step daughter was badly burnt trying to save her mother. At least it is uncommon enough to be reported.

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  6. Some people really shouldn't get married, and society should stop forcing them to.

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    Replies
    1. Quite true Kirk, but often the leopard's spots aren't immediately obvious.

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  7. Someone does that, run for your life and never look back, is my motto.

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    Replies
    1. Srrayer, with no money, no relative support, children, promises that he loves you and is sorry, leaving your home and possessions, drastically changing the lives of your children. For many it is not easy to do the obvious.

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  8. Different pains, same silence: we mobilise compassion for disease, yet too often excuse or normalise violence as a “loss of control,” even though it is just as deliberate and just as devastating

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    1. Roentare, spot on with , loss of control. It is deliberate violence against another person.

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  9. Domestic violence is not specific to any region or class. Sad.
    Cancer... It's all too common nowadays.

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    1. Domestic violence and control over a partner is probably higher here among recent Indian immigrants. Support services are in place to help Indian women is such situations, but it comes with family shame.

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  10. Domestic violence to either party is not acceptable, verbally or hands on.
    Unfortunately, not all people have tolerance or can control their anger, such a pity as they do not know the mental damage they do.
    Cancer is far too common, Andrew and a dreadful disease.

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    1. Margaret, I think at times people can control their anger, and at times choose not to when they have a compliant victim.

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  11. Sounds to me like they both need counseling, her to learn to not trigger and him to learn to not react physically.
    In my whole life I have known only two women who had breast cancer. Both my parents died from different cancers, one bowel and one lung.

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    1. River, you don't have a huge number of people in your life. Even two is significant.
      I simply won't hand it back to women to not trigger. This is about male behaviour, not about women triggering. No doubt men trigger women too, but generally they don't physically react.

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  12. There was an era when breast examinations were advertised on tv all the time. And to encourage women even more, the medical examinations were free.

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    1. Hels, I would expect breast examinations are still free, as they should be.

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    2. Free, but very uncomfortable. The actual squishing doesn't hurt, but the skin beng pulled downward from the shoulder as the machine presses down feels very much like the "chinese burns" kids gave each other in the schoolyard.

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  13. Domestic violence is unforgiveable.

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    1. JB, I am just wondering if domestic violence is a class thing. Working class, physical violence. Posh class, mental violence.

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    2. Not at all a class thing according to movies I've seen and books I read. It just gets covered up better so the public doesn't hear about it.

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  14. Treat others as you would want to be treated, a simple principle.

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  15. DV is awful. Saddly it is more common in Australia than other countries.

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  16. Those cancer statistics are shocking (!) but please don't feel guilty over your complaints. ~hugs~ Getting an incision cannot possibly be fun and we have no way of experiencing something outside our own skin, our own bodies.

    Domestic abuse sickens me. I've read stories about elderly parents being on the receiving end and even grandparents targeting one child to the point everyone else (both adults and siblings!) make the poor youngster's life hell.

    I had to stop watching an old show called "Animal Cops" because some episodes sent me into a rage. If I ever land in prison it will likely be for my actions upon such a perpetrator.

    Be well, my dear.

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    1. Thanks Darla. i can't watch tv where animal cruelty or neglect is shown.

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  17. I don't know anyone who's had breast cancer but some who've had bowel cancer. One or two who've died from melanoma.

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    Replies
    1. Aussiebel, having had three melanomas removed, they are quite frightening.

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