Limericks and words

The first limerick I think I heard was by my father, 'The boy stood on the burning deck, his pocket full of crackers...", you know how it goes.

The next I can remember was in a book I was reading, "Doctor Foster went to Gloucester in a shower of rain. He stepped into a puddle, right up to his muddle, and never went there again". This puzzled the very young me for two reasons. I must have known by the then how limericks should be constructed, and Foster could not possibly rhyme with Gloucester, which of course it does. The second issue being muddle, clearly meaning middle. Was muddle ever an alternative word for middle? Now online, I see the word middle is used, which makes it wrong as a limerick. I suppose you could say, 'He stepped into cow piddle, right up to his middle'. 

I had to look this one up as I had forgotten the main verse. This is also my father's quoted version.

"Not last night but the night before,

Three little monkeys came knocking at my door.

One had a fiddle, one had a drum,

And one had a pancake stuck to it's ???

Don't be mistaken, don't be misled,

One had a pancake stuck on it's head.".

I assume everyone who knows this verse also knows this version? Maybe that was my first introduction to word play.

I'm sure I could do much better than this off the cuff limerick, but;

There is a cat we know as Jass,

who could behave like a bit of an ass.

While she seems rather gruff,

she is not really that tough,

in fact she is just a bit sass.

 

Repost from 2017 (I forgot about this even after this post)

 

I know nothing

When you have been with your partner for 38 years, you would think there wasn't too much you didn't know about them.

We were watching the English tv show Vera last night. The show is set in and around Newcastle in the north of England, where R hailed from. The scene was set in a pub.

R: I worked in that hotel. It was at the base of the High Level Bridge.

Me: Fascinating dearest. You've worked in so many places, it is a wonder you can remember.

R: Yes, my brother in law to be and me both worked there as we were saving to go to Butlins (a holiday camp of the most ghastly variety, but this is with hindsight) and of course that was where I met Cat Stevens. The hotel has changed........

Me: Stop! Now! What did you just say?

R: About meeting Cat Stevens?

Me: Yes, you've never told me that before?

R: Thought I had. Cat Stevens was Irish (I didn't know that) The pub was owned by an Irishman and he was a friend of Cat and he came to visit him once at the hotel and we were introduced.

Me: How come you have never told me this?

R: I thought I had. He was only semi famous then.

I used to find Cat Stevens so sexy before he became a weird religious Moslem nutter who agreed with murder of those critical of the prophet Mohammed. I am quite perplexed as to why I did not know R had met Cat Stevens.