Ok, I don't want to make it hard for young lovers or maybe they are truly just great friends who sleep in the same bed and natter away constantly. I will call the friend of Phyllis, Kosov because it is close to his name but sounds a bit old Eastern European, thus disguising his south Indian identity. Putting my firm foot down with a hard hand and before my goat gets up my nose, did not work. Kosov is beguiling and it was difficult to say no to him when he asked if he could stay a third night this weekend past. I am quite happy for him to stay, but that wasn't the agreement I entered into with Phyllis. It is all about fairness.
I have decided if Kosov stays the night, the cost each night will be $20. I've also told him he can stay one night a week. The cost to me is minimal, a little extra hot water when he showers, (actually rather a lot of hot water when he showers. He must be a very dirty boi). I have a suspicion that some of his clothes have been washed here too. But just his presence here has an impact, as they are both in the kitchen cooking away and chatting to each other while I am a couple of metres away here at my desk and trying to concentrate.
Kosov spent over half an hour sitting on the floor grinding spices with a mortar and pestle. Why? There are shops to buy such things already ground. But he was clearly enjoying himself as he ground away with great enthusiasm. I asked him if I could take this photo. The photo is 'not available', sorry.
Phyllis has asked me if I could take him to Point Ormond. The car park was just over our five kilometre Covid lockdown exercise limit, and so we did breach the limit about once a week. Post lock down, Ray and I visited and walked up to the trig point or whatever it is. Phyllis wants Instagrammable sunset photos at Point Ormond. Sunset is now 18.09. That means driving in evening peak traffic. Maybe he will forget about it. I've travelled there by public transport. Perhaps I should steer him in that direction.
A friend of Phyllis is returning to Nepal. He has been invited to stay with her for two nights and party, so he is away. I will guess he will only stay one night. He hasn't paid this fortnight's board money. I hope I don't have to remind him.
In some ways, 21 year old Phyllis is very clever, but without puffing myself up, he doesn't have life experience and I have to tell him and show him things.
"Andrew, can you stop saying, thank you"
"Phyllis, it is my culture".
I had to learn hugs in my older years. I still struggle with hugging. I wasn't brung up to be a hugging person.
"Aw, thanks, Andrew". And then Phyllis gives me a big hug in thanks.
Now he is away and not 0.1 metres away, it is my opportunity to change my Grindr profile to something innocuous and see if he is on Grindr when he returns and is 0.1 metres away.
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You are much more tolerant than I am. My displeasure muscle would be working overtime by now.
ReplyDeleteJayCee, while my displeasure muscle works too, he is young, foreign born and openly gay. I think he has adjusted to Australia and to me and my ways remarkably well. But I will continue to steer him to the ways I want things to work.
DeleteI am agreeing with JayCee. Much more tolerant, not to mention more patient.
ReplyDeleteEC, I am patient but I have my snap level.
DeleteI'm with the other two above. I couldn't do it and be nice. They seem to have taken over your home. We weren't huggers either in my family. Then, I got married and learned to be a hugger, my in-laws are big huggers.
ReplyDeleteDeb, Ray always said I was a selfish person and I expect I am. When things don't work for me, I will change them. So far, I don't really see the need. I slowly educate.
DeleteI became a hugger in my thirties and thrive on giving and getting hugs now.
ReplyDeleteI'm with the ladies above, one person is one thing, two people feels like he's taking over.
Yes Pixie, two are too much. I think I can do adequate hugs now. The voluptuous nurse who gave me such a big motherly hug after Ray died helped a lot.
DeleteYou are being taken over, …slow burn stuff. You also must be very kind to tolerate a change in your living arrangements…people grinding ion the floor! Taking liberties with your newly renovated apartment .
ReplyDeleteYou might need to put your big boys pants on Andrew, do an eviction and change the locks
Yes and thanks for mentioning it. I am not a stupid old man and I will see slow burn for what it is. I've seen it already and I am not happy about the rent not being paid. See tomorrow's post where I need cash. I have rehearsed a speech about that. But Phyllis did write on my calendar, rent due on the 13th.
DeleteIf he puts you off on the rent he gets a warning, if he does it twice give him a week to find somewhere else! At the end of that week, put his things outside the door and change the locks.
Deletethis is the sort of human connection that makes life interesting
ReplyDeleteIt is Roentare. I enjoyed watching Kosov grinding spices. I am not going to ask what they are for.
DeleteA $50 charge per extra Kosov night would still be cheaper than a cheap hostel room.
ReplyDeleteI could tolerate the mortar and pestle if I was given some curry. Freshly ground spices are the bomb.
My PITA boarder is my own son and his financial contribution is very helpful but he is increasingly intolerable in so many ways. One day I'll regret saying that
I think you are correct about $50 Kylie, but it not about money for me. A twenty year foreign lad grinding up spices with a mortar and pestle on a rich old gay c'**** carpet, priceless. I am not happy that the photo did not work. Google is not being helpful for PITA.
DeletePain in the arse
DeleteAs entertaining as these dispatches are to read, Phyllis does seem to be taking advantage of you.
ReplyDeleteKirk, he can take advantage as far as I allow him. If it bothers me, he will know. He is actually a nice guy, but young and while clever, lacks experience.
DeleteI think your foot really needs to be put down on the extra inhabitant, and not just by charging him nightly.
ReplyDeleteHe must have a place to live or else he couch surfs off all his friends and all his friend's landlord!
Bob, he lived in university accommodation, with shared facilities. I think he gave up his accommodation and stayed with a uni friend before he moved here.
DeleteGive them an inch and they will take a mile Andrew...that's all I have to say!
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I will allow a stretch of something over a quarter of an inch, but no more. I will not give an inch.
DeleteI wasn't brung up to be a hugger either and I've grown to regret that.
ReplyDeleteFreshly ground spices are supposedly better than those you buy already ground in jars. Perhaps he also enjoys the fragrances released during the grinding. Our Central Market has a stall called The Spice Kitchen (I think it is still there) and you can buy all kinds of spices, some already ground, some they will grind for you, some whole to grind yourself at home.
River, at best a kiss on the cheek from an elderly aunt in my childhood. I am glad things like that have changed.
DeleteI am sure The Spice Kitchen is quite popular.
There are advantages and disadvantages of having a roommate. But in general, would you say that middle aged people who suddenly find themselves alone would rather stay alone? or look for another roommate?
ReplyDeleteHels, I was quite content on my own however, I felt I was lacking a sense of purpose in life. I now have a responsibility, kind of and someone to guide in some areas, and also he connects me to his generation and to another race.
DeleteThat's always a bit difficult to get used to a roommate, but he was not so bad I think.
ReplyDeleteGattina, generally I am quite happy with it all.
DeleteI couldn't do it. I like my space to be mine, with my mess. It looks like decision time, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteJB, I can find fault in any place I look, myself not excluded. Things can be worked out and managed but I am not going to tolerate having to ask for the rent money.
DeleteThe challenges of having someone new living with you. I hope it works out okay. As for Grindr, I hardly ever use it, and it's not actually on my phone right now. I think it's such a time waster, and potentially negative space. But about a year ago I logged on, and it told me someone was 1 metre away from me. I looked at the couch and couldn't see anyone else, so I knew it was either the bloke next door who I know is gay, or the guy upstairs who I suspected :)
ReplyDeleteJames, I've done the same here and there are some very close by who I don't know about. I agree about it being a negative space. But how would young people otherwise meet? You are in a 'certain area' so I am not surprised about your neighbours.
DeleteI can't imagine having a 21 year old about the house. It might make me feel younger than I am.
ReplyDeleteTP, I will have to think about that. I don't have an immediate thought.
DeleteYoung people like to take advantage of older folks, watch out. They can seem friendly to your face, and be stealing you blind behind your back.
ReplyDeleteStrayer, that is quite true and I have set up a few not obvious tests. I think he is honest.
DeleteHa! It's hilarious that you're stalking your boarder on Grindr! It sounds lively with him around, which is a good thing, but it's wise to set limits and adhere to them.
ReplyDeleteSteve, yes. One night last week I would have gone to bed at 11, to sleep by 11.20 and then next morning at some time during the night he'd washed a load of washing and hung it up to dry. Washing for me is definitely a daytime activity in my mind.
DeleteI echo Steve. Something to keep in mind, however, is that people get crafty and sly when they survive more on their wits than money. Phyllis may be all things domestic in creating the illusion that in lieu of money, he is taking care of you. It is not the deal of course, but that is how his mind will justify it, which allows him to feel wounded at your ingratitude instead of shame that he has not kept up his side of the bargain.
DeleteI think I am too set in my ways to have someone new in my space like that. I hope you can sort things out with little hard feelings, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteMy family wasn't the hugging type but I have learned to hug friends and I really missed the hugs during covid.
Pat, hasn't our, making assumptions, generation lived through so many changes, and hugging is just one more.
DeleteLike you, I am not good about hugging - especially other men. When I was a lad, men simply did not hug - it was not the done thing and frankly I am more than happy with that state of affairs. Kosov must be on Grindr because he's always grinding away.
ReplyDeleteYP, yes male to male hugging takes it up a step however I do love the way young men can hug and make it look so natural. That's a change for the better. I like your work with Grindr. I didn't think of that.
Delete