Alert but not alarmed

We were all very alert, and very prepared to be alarmed as we had been warned that at 2pm our national emergency warning system would be tested, with a siren blaring or blasting or ear splitting (the media were full on with their use of a thesaurus), out from our phones for ten seconds, along with a message to ignore the alert.

I was in Bay Street, Port Melbourne at 2pm with Phyllis and Kosov after a driving lesson for Kosov and a need for bahn mi for both of them. Kosov has a dry cough so they went into the supermarket to buy chicken meat to make a restorative chicken soup. I was sitting in the pleasant little park just metres away from the main street. As 2pm approached, I moved closer to the street to see how people would react to the siren.

Remember Big Ears and Noddy of the children's book fame? Noddy drove a car which when he sounded its horn, made a parp parp sound. Does that sounded like a horn blasting a warning. Parp parp.

That is how I'd described the alert. No one in the street seemed to react. An older woman wearing huge earmuffs tried to engage with a couple of young girls walking past, who acknowledged her but kept walking. I was a stationary target. She had a heavy accent, I guess Italian, as she told me told me her granddaughter said to her 'Nonna, don't go out as you will be scared when the siren on your phone goes off'. Nonna insisted she was going out. 'Nonna, take my ear muff headphones then', and she did wear them, and heard nothing. Had I have had my phone in my pocket, I probably would not have heard the 'parp parp' either. 

Nonna liked to talk. Her husband died eight years ago, her daughter of cancer two years ago. Her granddaughter is too choosy about men.  Her grandson was engaged but broke it off. 'He is so handsome, always looks neat and wears nice clothes, and is so funny. He is very kind to me, he works at a prison and has his own house, but he lives in another house with his friend.' Hmmm.

Where on earth are Phyllis and Kosov to save me.

The bastards eventually arrived and walked past me to stand about five metres away. I must have a word with them about what to do in such situations, where the default is to save me. I gave her a couple of pats on her puffer jacket enclosed upper arm and left her midstream talking.

Then they told me they has already engaged with her, as she complained about the toilets in the supermarket walkway being closed for two weeks. 

Did your phones sound an alert, I asked them? No Onnndrew. Mine is on silent, but I saw the message. (the alert comes through regardless of whether your phone is on silent). No Annndrew, I didn't hear anything. I think it probably did work for them but they didn't hear the parp parp.

It seems the alert worked for 94% of the population the phone towers and for those who it did not work for, perhaps a very old phone or a local tower was closed for maintenance.

ABC Radio uses an excellent alert sound when there is a fire or flood threat warning.

It was an alert, but hardly a sound to make you alarmed or even alert. Perhaps they should look at the sounds of older technology.