My step mother was about 87 and her partner 97. They lived in northern Victoria and a couple of weeks ago, he went into a care facility, where he was doing very well and thriving. Step Mother moved to her daughter's in the Latrobe Valley a few days ago.
Yesterday in the very early morning, she had a massive stroke and under the care of ambulance folk, she died. It was a full on day for me as I met up with Ex Sis in Law to see my step mother rather too late. I last saw her two years ago. I lived with her and my father for about five years when I was young.
Her body was still in the bed until the funeral directors arrived and took her away. Her dog was under her bed and had to be pulled out and taken away as her body was removed. Her dog will fret for a time.
It was five hours of driving and lots of emotions and memories. I and Ex Sis in Law weren't short of conversation during the long drive, with her at the wheel.
Step mother suffered domestic violence by her first husband.
I was on a roll.
Step sister suffered domestic violence from her first husband. After leaving him, she was 27 and met a 17 year old guy, and they have been happy ever after, in spite of all that has been thrown at them. He is the loveliest of people.
Step mother's sister in law suffered domestic violence by her husband, that being step mother's brother. He's an arrogant prick and I will try to avoid him at the funeral.
Rough, and I feel rough. I'll get back to the world of blog soon.
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It's notable that often, when a partner moves into assisted care, the other person soon goes. I've seen it before and wonder if they feel free, now the partner is in good hands, to let go.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the litany of violence in that family. Sounds as if the women did make it out, but what a life.
Sorry for your loss. And sorry for all the domestic violence these women experienced.
ReplyDeleteA very big and emotion packed day for you. I am glad that your step mother didn't suffer for long and that all the women in your family found their way out of violence. Look after yourself.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of emotion to handle, Andrew. Sorry for the loss and for all the violence the women had to suffer. With all that a sliver of hope on seeing that life did a take a turn for the good for the step-sis. Take care.
ReplyDelete(My latest post: The city that went back in time)
I would avoid him too. So sorry to hear about the massive stroke. And all that abuse. Are you now the oldest living family member?
ReplyDeleteRiver, I am kind of the oldest. Step mother's partner is still alive, but I don't think that counts. I've been the senior since Mother died.
DeleteSorry for your loss. Yes avoid the no good person. Glad you had your EX SIL to drive you there.
ReplyDeleteAn emotional roller coaster for you. I hope you have many happy memories of your step mum.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your loss, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
What an emotional and tiring day for you. Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteSad and upsetting times for you. Things we learn, mostly about abuse of males to their female companions. Why? Ignore bad relatives and just concentrate on the good.
ReplyDeleteStep mum was abused and step mum's brother was an abuser. It was normalised in their early life, me thinks.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a long and hard day, for you Andrew.
I'm glad she got to die in her own bed, it's what we all hope for
Take time and take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Andrew, more grief. I'm glad your step mother got away from her abusive first husband. I'm glad she was able to slip away peacefully.
ReplyDeleteSo much violence. Why are so many men so angry?
ReplyDeleteSending Positive Vibes Your Way - Most Of These Comments Of Mine Disappear Into The Digital Graveyard , But I Still Try - Again , My Sincere Condolences
ReplyDeleteBig Hugs ,
Cheers
That's so sad for you, apparently you loved your stepmother, that doesn't happen very often. Another funeral, in a quite short time, I wished we could attend christenings or weddings, or birth ! For me it's too late anyway !
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for your loss, Andrew. Families are a tangled web!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteA horrible generational violence situation, Andrew, so very sorry for your loss. Especially when you have special childhood memories. Big hug.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
What a sorrow life can be at times. All that violence in the family. Avoid that man like the plague he is.
ReplyDeleteFamilies are complicated! I am now the eldest on my maternal side of the family. I need a family tree to figure out your Ex SIL relationship to your stepmother...
ReplyDeleteJackie, she mine and my siblings step mother, and Ex Sil was my brother's wife.
Delete