Thursday, June 5, 2025

The personal and the social

During my brunch with Neighbour HH yesterday, she talked about money and matters where rich people like her will be left penniless by government policies. She is compelled by the government to take an income from her personal superannuation fund each year of $192,000, and she worries that the balance of her superannuation will reduce and she will run out of money. 

She hasn't seen her husband for many months, who is in dementia care in the South Gippsland area. The last time she saw him, he didn't recognise her. Their daughter lives not so far away and checks in on him. That's the huge achieving daughter who HH is scared of. 

I don't know if it comes from her superannuation or other money, but her husband's care costs $150,000 a year. This will reduce soon to a public old age care level level of $3,700. It is a very nice care home and he is cared for very well. In a a way, her husband died before Ray died. It was hard for her at the time to put him into care, but essential. She is effectively a widow, just technically not. She battles bureaucracy to get power over institutions to recognise her as the contact person and decision maker.

While she is rich, she lives as modestly as I do and unlike me, she is reluctant to turn on heating and cooling because of the cost. I lecture her about it, and so does her son.     

My latest is my Etag, placed in the car on the dashboard to pay for road tolls, ceased to beep to pay tolls when I visited Ex Sis in Law and Tradie Brother last Sunday. I tried to sort it online, that is to get a replacement, but at the final step where the 'Proceed' was lit, the website did nothing. Normally they would send you new device with a self addressed prepaid envelope to return the old one. It was half an hour before I was to meet HH, so I called on the telephone. The account was still in Ray's name although I had changed the payment details to my credit card. The old account had to be closed and a new account opened. The credit on the old card will be refunded to my bank account, once the old Etag is received by free post by the company. The account had just auto topped up, so a balance of $109. That took twenty five minutes on the telephone and I came close to being late meeting HH. Of course the response came when I said Ray was dead was the standard, I am so sorry for your loss (Like 14 months ago). I wish I had just pretended to be Ray and kept his account going. I was already paying anyway. 

Photos came from Fire Fighting Nephew of his twin sons. They have their cards and the $20 note I sent each of them. 





When the greats turn 6, they receive $50 and for subsequent birthdays. I've worked this out after years of arguing with Ray about how much to give the kiddies. This applies to all of the greats. Jo turns 18 in July and there is afternoon party at a yacht club. I'll give her $100. She is my niece, not a great. 



The photos came with a note. "The boys were very excited to receive their letters. And my how your hand writing has improved. 😉"

It hasn't. "Phyllis my scribe, write for me. They are three year old boys. Be as florid and fancy as you like", and he did. Kosov can do the same, but he wrote the address to return my Etag on the envelope, and he wrote straight, as I told him.  

Dinner last night was chicken bites, a fried egg, broccoli, beans with a nicely flavoured rice. Thanks Phyllis.

Much excitement for me today. Thursday is shopping day.  

43 comments:

  1. Those boys are very sweet. I like children at that age...much easier to deal with than older kids!
    Urgh...bureaucracy... a curse of our modern age.

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  2. I know several retired people who have tons of money like your HH but live very frugally and deprive themselves. I can't understand it, surely you should live your old age in comfort. All it means is that the next generation are going to have a lot of inherited wealth, which will further exacerbate the haves and have nots situation in Australia.

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  3. There is a catch to the Government's changes to superannuation. The additional tax (which is still modest) is on unrealised capital gains. By all means tax profits received but paper profits? If those assets show a loss in subsequent years there is no refund. I don't like that but can't think of an alternative. The twins look great.
    We are comfortably off, but still live fairly frugally. Old habit? We do turn heating and cooling on and are grateful we can.
    The twins look great. As does your dinner.

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    1. EC, paying on gains is ok with me, but credits need to be applied when balances fall. But if someone has $3 million, who cares.

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  4. The government extracts funds from taxpayers only to expend them on ideological pursuits or questionable dealings, all under the pretense of executing grand designs purportedly for the benefit of us all.

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    1. I can't agree Roentare. Taxes are spent to make our lives and society better. It can be argued that at times money is badly spent, but I a happy to pay taxes for the betterment of my country and the world.

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  5. The boys and the egg, ♥️ they are fine young men and you and they complement each other. . We get part pension with discounts for utilities , We don't have to scrimp on heating but we also think we manage money well. We don’t want to be either hot or cold We have solar which fortunately means we have had three bills and with the government discounts having to pay a minimum amount . Can you get solar on your apartment.?

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    1. You do well with solar. No, solar on the building's roof was investigated many years ago and there is insufficient space. More recently, wind power was investigated, but the outlay wasn't worth the return.

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  6. I know a woman in her mid-90s. Her father died, her mother just took to her bed. This woman dropped out of school, took care of her mother and raised her siblings. Paid for their college too. Lived very frugally all her life. She has outlived her savings. She is very proud but also very afraid. Her health care is eating up most of her social security. And trump wants to cut it even more.

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    1. Debby, in some ways you are better off here if you have no money for aged care. You won't get a stunning care home, but it will be ok and it will cost a certain amount of your old age pension. The case you recount is awful. She has acted responsibly throughout her life and then this happens.

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  7. HH is afraid of her own daughter? If you've ever done a post explaining that, I think I missed it.

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    1. Kirk, her daughter is a highly paid executive, on some charity boards and she isn't afraid to get her own hands dirty as a volunteer i.e. surf life saving, school committees, fundraising...I could go on. Rather than scared of, to quote HH, "She scares me", I guess because of her high achievements.

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  8. I would have loved to have had twins... they have a very special relationship to each other that hopefully lasts through their lives.

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    1. Hels yes, but oh the loss if something happens to one of them, as we know from our "Brother Friends", who were twins and then one died.

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  9. I'd like to know what a three year old will do with $20. You might be better off just putting it into their bank accounts and giving them a small toy to unwrap, matchbox cars perhaps. $20 is what I give the twins older brothers at Christmas, for their birthdays it's just a card and they are okay with that since they know I am not an actual grandma to them.
    $192,000 a year.....there is no "dream cloud" emoji for that.

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    1. They seem to like receiving money, River. Their cousin wanted to take the money I sent him last year to school for 'Show and Tell'. They have so many toys and frankly junk, they don't need any more. River, I would assume the $150,000 for her husband's care comes out of that. There is no way she spends money like that. In fact, I would live more expensively than she does. I wouldn't know what to do with such and income and nor would she. Her son deals with her finances since her husband's dementia became apparent.

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  10. Dinner looks good and those boys are cute! You're so right about HH being a widow. I need a phyllis a Kosov

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    1. Strayer, they come at a cost. Sometimes it would be nice to be properly alone. I think I would travel more if they weren't here.

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  11. I hope you enjoyed your shopping day, Andrew.
    I feel for HH, must be so hard for her.

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    1. Margaret, I don't mind the weekly shop, not that I buy that much. HH is very resilient and just a few months younger than you, still volunteers once a fortnight at a tourist information place, and she has a good family, with visits from grandchildren and plenty of friends.

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  12. It is great that the boys are feeding you. The twins are cute and how good of you to remember their birthdays.

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    1. Diane, I was managing my own food before they came, but it is nicer to have proper home cooked food, made with care. Ray and I never forgot a family birthday and I continue the tradition.

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  13. How sad it is that someone is worried about turning on the heating/cooling. Trying to sort out bills, change of suppliers etc is a technological minefield. The move has meant a number of changes for myself. Whilst some have worked like clockwork others are still proving a nightmare. How I would love to speak to someone face to face, explain the situation and they then solve the problem for me. Utopia!

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    1. Fun60, it is quite infuriating, and if she ever mentions heat or cold, I tell her turn her system on. I am only guessing, but I expect it is more difficult for you because you can use a computer and the internet. My mother couldn't and my brother who was her carer wasn't very tech savvy, so everything had to be done over the phone or in person. My brother was also very persistent and my mother very good at being 'helpless'. HH is quite tech savvy for someone nearly 80, but she will play the card, 'I am an old lady. I don't understand these computer things'. There was one problem I had and after lots of time on the phone and emails, was sorted out in ten minutes when I visited its office.

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  14. Living frugally is a habit that must be hard to break, but it's sad if it means people live uncomfortably.

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    1. JB, I can't say I live frugally, but I just can't seem to spend money that I could be spending. I try, but why would I replace something that is perfectly good, like my car that's less than four years old.

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  15. The people I know who worry about money have tons of it. I've never understood their fears.

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    1. Boud, I remember my mother saying what a problem money was when she inherited from her mother. But my mother knew the purpose of money and quickly spent it.

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  16. Interesting commentary on Australian way of life. Your dinner cooked by Phyllis looks good, you will miss the boys when they eventually go.

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    1. Thanks Thelma. Countries can on the surface be quite similar, but scratch away, and they are vastly different. It will be a shattering day when they leave, and in some ways affect me more than Ray dying.

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  17. I still receive mail addressed to my father, who died 8 years ago.

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    1. TP, I am not surprised. It is not an issue for me as we were receiving so little mail anyway.

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  18. I struggle to understand why well off folk sometimes live so frugally but each to their own I suppose...... you can't take it with you, as we all say.
    Lovely family photos
    Alison in Wales x

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    1. But Alison, they all want to provide for their children but in the case of HH, her two children are already comfortable, so it is the grandchildren to leave it to.

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  19. It's nice that you are there for HH - to listen to her and support her as a caring friend and neighbour. What does "HH" stand for. Is she a pencil?

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    1. Is HH a shade YP? Her husband's initials are BH, which reversed is HB.

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  20. Phyllis gave you veggies!
    I hate dealing with bureaucracy of any kind. It is good you got the toll thing sorted out, Andrew.

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    1. He has being doing so of late Pat, and I noticed he does so more now for his own food.

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  21. That dinner looks amazing! That Etag situation sounds frustrating. It's remarkable how many little pieces of bureaucracy are tangled up in all our lives!

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    1. It is Steve, and we just have to deal with such things patiently.

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  22. Your poor Neighbour HH ! Makes me think of my situation when I was a widow with a living husband and had to fill in tons of papers to get the responsibility for concerning everything which concerned him. And then 2 1/2 years I got a letter from the police with a fine, because I was driving a car of a "deceased person" ! The car was still on Rick's name, although I paid the taxes etc. Of course I didn't pay the fine because my insurance had forgotten to apply for a new lisence plate on my name. It was done very quickly. Your newphews are cute !

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    1. Ingrid, so you had 'stolen' Rick's car. Now I am wondering if that could happen here, and I think it could, although it was ten months after Ray died that I notified the authority and it wasn't aware of his death.

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Marysville 2

The night before Phyllis cobbled together a nice meal with what he found at the local supermarket.  For them, Phyllis and Kosov arose the ne...