My ABI Brother lives 50 minutes drive south east of Melbourne. My Tradie Brother and Ex Sis in Law live a 50 minute drive south south east of Melbourne. Sister lives a 90 minute drive south of Melbourne, with the need to negotiate the bay and Victoria's second largest city .
It is so interesting that Ray's family in the west of Newcastle all live so close together. His 26 year old great nephew, the one who stayed with us a couple of years ago, has bought a house in the area, as has a younger great nephew. Property is much cheaper than it is in Australia and good on the two lads for making the effort to become home owners.
Using Google Maps, I measured the distance between the extremes of where his family live and it is 3.5 kilometres/2miles west to east and draw it as an oblong circle, 1.5km north to south.
Within that area live Ray's three sisters, their children and then their children, along with two cousins.
Excluding the great nieces and nephews and partners, Ray had 22 blood relatives and two cousins living within five square kilometres.
That is family, all close and all connected. Or are they?
"The only time we all get together is when youse come here", they said. Pretty well weekly I speak on the telephone to my three siblings and communicate with Ex Sis in Law online.
So while Mother's children live miles apart, maybe we are more closely connected than Ray's family who live close to each other. Dunno. My mind is just wandering about connections and relationships.
As per her itinerary, Sister's and Bone Doctor's daughter Jo, as this is published is about to take a Japanese bullet train from Tokyo to Kyoto.
.jpg)
Your family is much more connected than mine. Two of my brothers live in the same city. A niece and a nephew do too. I don't often see them and talk to the brothers every week or so. A further brother lives in South Australia and I talk to him even less often.
ReplyDeleteA great niece and nephew (adult) live here too. I have others in the US of A and in Queensland.
DeleteEC, I suppose we all just connect as we see fit and want to. I am inclined to make an effort with family without expecting a response.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteStrayer, from what I observe, you have a normal family and mine is unusual.
DeleteI have quite a few extended family members living close by, but I really only see them when someone throws a party. I don't really have that much in common with them.
ReplyDeleteKirk, I was asked that question about former workmates yesterday. I feel no connection with straight foreign born workmates with grown up children who live in outer areas.
DeleteFamilies.... hmmmm.... I could write a book about mine but I have no plans for that. It's nice you are so close to so many of your extended family members.
ReplyDeleteDeb, yes, I do like my family connections.
DeleteI didn’t know they were back in Japan! I hope they’re enjoying it.
ReplyDeleteIt’s nice that you’re close to your family. I’ve tried with my parents and siblings but it’s not worked out. I have more contact with my two adult nieces which I cherish. Bunyip
Only Jo, Bunyip. School trip. I know, I know about your rels.
DeleteI loved living near the aunts, uncles and first cousins during primary and high school. Lots of birthday parties, backyard sports, shared tv, sleeping with the cousins when parents went away for the weekend etc.
ReplyDeleteBut once everyone moved, the visits were less frequent. I still miss the closeness. Ray's family in Newcastle were very wise.
Hels, it is something that generally only happened in the latter part of the twentieth century and I think it is a bit sad, but people must live their own very mobile lives.
DeleteCircumstances often dictate where families live and how often they get together. It's very nice if everyone can live nearby, but it's quite rare these days.
ReplyDeleteJB, it seems more common to be separated by distance here rather in than England, but my knowledge is very limited. I can only speak for Ray's family.
DeleteYou'd think they'd get together more often being so close. I live fairly close to the city, have one child across the city to the west, another somewhere unknown to the east of the city, a third also to the east of the city but I know where, the rest of the family are in the Adelaide Hills areas, then there's my sister way up in the mid north in Port Pirie and my brother lives in Fremantle when he's home. We all stay in touch via text messaging.
ReplyDeleteRiver, perhaps I over egged that they don't. Some do often but rarely is there a large family gathering. The last time was for Ray's memorial and the time before that, when we were there last year. Ray's closest sister is a bit of an outsider. Your family is very spread out indeed.
DeleteI moved away from my home in the 1980s and have never wished to go back. I now only have my sister who sadly, I only see occasionally but I still would not want to return to England.
ReplyDeleteJayCee, that is good that you are quite content where you are and I would guess that you are well integrated into your local community.
DeleteThat’s an awful lot of Ray’s rellies living close to each other in a small enough area to almost constitute a village and such a shame they don’t communicate with each other…but then some families are like that.
ReplyDeleteOccasionally losing the ‘older generation’ - the glue that held them together - causes splits to appear and maybe those ties weren’t as close as they appeared beforehand when everyone was much younger.
Cathy, I thought that might happen when Mother died last year, but in the few years before she took a back seat as the focus became the young children. Ex Sis in Law has fallen out with all of her three sisters but never any of us, and she is perhaps the central focal point now, grandmother to all the greats.
DeleteAs for Ray's family, I didn't include all the second cousins etc, who are all in roughly the same area.
My so many relations living fairly close together and don't often visit each other - sounds rather normal. Yet, when relatives live further away from each other they visit more often - strange, isn't it, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteMargaret, yes there are times when my family don't see each other for a quite a time but we do keep in touch in some manner. Because Ray and I were retired, we were always available for any event, and that we were a midpoint.
DeleteMy two brothers live 50 miles apart, 900 miles south of me, my sister is about 500 miles west of me. One of her sons is 10 miles from her, the other one about 100 miles south of her. We are kind of spread out.
ReplyDeleteTP, you certainly are spread out but I think that isn't unusual in your country. It is strange that although we both live in physically large countries, distances seem to matter much less to you.
DeleteMy family is scattered all over the country and rarely get together anymore, but okay with that now.
ReplyDeletePixie, I suppose that is the modern life and just because people are relatives, you may not have much in common with them.
DeleteIt's amazing to me that so many people stay so close to home. Many, many of the people I went to school with still live in and around my hometown. It blows my mind.
ReplyDeleteSteve, that's interesting about people from your younger years and is that usual?
DeleteI have lots of relatives but only one cousin and her family live in the city but at the other end from me. I haven't seen any of them for a few years but I do email and talk on the phone to some of them. I think there are a couple of family FB groups but I don't take part.
ReplyDeletePat, I suppose you pick and choose who you communicate with and if you are content with that, that's good. I can see family FB groups going horribly wrong in my mind.
DeleteI don't have any family left except of course my son plus family, from Rick's side there is still a sister 92 years old and her daughter in the 60th. Both don't speak any other language except Italian. But we still stay in contact, fortunately there is Google translate to correct me !
ReplyDeleteGattina, maybe your next family experience will be great grandchildren.
DeleteMy brother is in my suburb, my sister 15 mins away, my parents 15 mins the other way.
ReplyDeleteI barely see my siblings and if any one messages or calls it's me.
I don't understand but that's ok.
Families are all different.
Are you close? Is an interesting question. What is close in the mind of the asker?
Kylie, you are quite correct. It is a difficult question to answer and the person asking the question will have their own thoughts about closeness.
DeleteI moved three hours away from family in 1990 to live with my boyfriend, then an Airman at Wright Patterson Air Force Base. For the first few years he (raised not far from me) and I traveled north every weekend, then only for major holidays/evets. Now my husband and I find excuses to stay home during even the most auspicious occasions. ~hangs head~ Traffic is so much worse; I wish the promised railroad across the state of Ohio had been built. That's a public transport we might have used. lol Best wishes, my dear.
ReplyDeleteDarla, it is part of getting older I think, and as I've said before, we remember when traffic was lighter and more free flowing.
Delete