Friday, April 26, 2024

Unexpectedly bereft

The most wonderful person I've ever known has suddenly died, Thursday night Australian time. He was kind, generous with a great outgoing personality. I am going to miss my beloved and much loved by all partner Ray for all of 44 years so terribly.

Family and friends will flock here tomorrow, Saturday. Today, I just wanted to be alone. I'm in a daze and shocked, tired after phone calls to England overnight and lack of sleep, local calls and messages today. I've just read the most beautiful letter he wrote to me enclosed in an envelope with his will. I wasn't looking at his will but he had told me to look there if the worst happened, and now it has.

I'll return to the wold of blog soon. To write is therapeutic for me. In advance, thanks for your the kind words and sentiments you will undoubtedly offer. 

54 comments:

  1. I am not surprised that a man so loving, kind and thoughtful would have left you a letter. I am greatly saddened by your loss. Heartened that he left you without suffering a long and lingering death. I will always remember him as a shining star with a twinkle in his eye and a good sense of humour. All my love.

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  2. Oh Andrew. What a shock. I am so very, very sorry, especially as it appeared to have been entirely unexpected. I am thinking of you and sending an affectionate hug through the Blogosphere xx

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  3. I'm so sorry for your loss. Such a wonderful partner. Take the time you need. We'll be here for you.

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  4. What a terrible shock, Andrew. I am so very sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Take time. Take care. x

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  5. Oh Andrew, that is such sad news. Not sure what to say except he loved you - that you can be sure of.
    Take care
    Cathy xx

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  6. So sorry for your loss; really no words other than you are in my thoughts.

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  7. Andrew hugs. Is the funeral in Melbourne? You may take weeks and months before you feel normal again, and even then it will be the first time in 44 years that you will have to make decisions alone.

    My older son passed away a fortnight ago and I don't even want to go out for coffee :(

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    1. Oh Hels. I am so sorry. How terrible for you. For a mother to lose a son or daughter must be horrendous, to say the least. Go out with friends for coffee. You can cry in front of them if it happens.

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    2. Oh, Hels, how awful for you. I am so sorry.

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    3. How heartbreaking Hels. Hugs.

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    4. So sorry to hear this Hels.

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    5. Thank you Andrew, jabblog and River. He was 51, fit and handsome. And I don't want to get out of bed.

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    6. Oh, these losses are heartbreaking. Be well, all.

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  8. Hugs from afar, so sad for your loss. Take time and take care of yourself.

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  9. Words fail
    All I can do is send you love. One day I will get to give you the hug.

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  10. Oh, Andrew, I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you.

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  11. What??? Oh no Andrew. I am shocked and horrified and sad for you. I can't imagine what you are going through. Love from Oregon.

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  12. Oh Andrew. This is shocking. Half a world away, I gasped out loud. I am so very sorry. Be kind with yourself. Take your time. The world can wait.

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  13. Dear Andrew - so sad. I am so sorry for your loss. Try to take care of yourself as best as you can. Hugs, Pat.

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  14. Oh Andrew. My heart aches with and for you.

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  15. I am so sorry to read of this news. This must be such a terrible moment... 44 years is a long time. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  16. Wishing you love and light. Ray was such an integral character in your blog. Your readers will miss his presence. Take care.

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  17. Dear Andrew I was so terribly upset to read this. My heart breaks for you. 44 years! What an incredible gift. And with you right to the end. Big big love.
    XO
    WWW

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  18. I am so sorry to read your devastating news Andrew. I have read your blog for several years and your mutual love and strong relationship has always been apparent. Sending you very sincere condolences from across the Tasman.

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  19. So sorry to hear this news Andrew. You were blessed with a wonderful partner in Ray for 44 years, enjoy the memorise you both made together.
    Big hugs Allan. Xx

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  20. Oh no!
    Andrew, I'm so very sorry. What a dreadful loss and such a shock!
    Sending you all the love

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  21. Oh, Andrew, I am in shock and heartbroken for you. I had tears in my eyes as I read this to John. We both send you big hugs.
    All those memories you made together in 44 years! I am not surprised you are exhausted. Please take care of yourself.
    Jackie

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  22. Stalker
    Andrew
    My heartfelt love to you♥️🙏

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  23. Oh my goodness me Andrew, I am so very sorry to read this ever so sad news, oh dear me what a great shock. Thinking of you especially at this so sad time. May he rest in peace with love.

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  24. Very sorry to hear this bad news, Andrew. I remember him when we met for a coffee on Dorcas Street, such a friendly guy. May he rest in peace and for you: stay OK, it will need time. Big hug.

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  25. What? WHAT?? R died?? oh I am so sorry Andrew, you won't mind if I shed a few tears?

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  26. So sorry to hear this, I only know of you both through your blog. Marie, Melbourne

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  27. What sad news Andrew. Stay strong and look for support in your family.

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  28. Oh, man, Andrew, I am so sorry. R played such a major role on your blog, and of course in your life. Hugs.

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  29. What an awful shock. I am thinking of you.

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  30. Thinking of you, Andrew. Be kind & gentle to yourself.

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  31. Andrew at my writing workshop today, this is one of the pieces we studied (for multiple reasons) and I thought of you and thought to pass it on to you if you wish to read it perhaps?

    Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
    Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
    Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
    Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

    Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
    Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
    Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
    Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

    He was my North, my South, my East and West,
    My working week and my Sunday rest,
    My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
    I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

    The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
    Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
    Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
    For nothing now can ever come to any good.

    W H Auden

    Much love
    XO
    WWW

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  32. I'm so sorry for your loss. WH Auden said it well.

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  33. Dear Andrew, I am visiting from Elephant Child's blog and was very sorry to learn of your loss. We don't know each other but I wanted you to know my thoughts are with you.

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  34. Condolences from a stranger who hopes a grain more sympathy helps alleviate the pain even a tiny bit…

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  35. Dear Andrew, such sad news. Grief is exhausting. Take care.

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  36. Dearest Andrew. Pants here. I'm so, so sorry. How the world will miss our dear Ray. Sending you love.

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  37. I'm so sorry, Andrew. I know how devastating this is. You take care of yourself.

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  38. So sad for you, my heart weeps for you.

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  39. am so sorry to hear, just awful, words fail. Take care Andrew

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  40. Andrew, I am so, so sorry. With you in spirit as you travel this new road.

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  41. Sincere condolences, Andrew. Forty-four years — fantastic. Bon courage.

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    1. I think that was me commenting above. I thought the comment had just disappeared. We don't know each other well but I have always enjoyed your posts and comments. Ken (www.ckenb.blogspot.com).

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    2. That was me commenting above. I don't know why it was anonymous. I thought the comment had just vanished. I've always enjoyed your posts and comments. I'm so sorry for the loss of Ray. Walt and I have been together for 41 years now.

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  42. Andrew, I don't know you and your beloved Ray but my heart goes out to you all the same. To lose the love of one's life is perhaps the most traumatic event in one's life. That loss will forever change you. This is the price of true love. Know that you are not alone. Please feel free to reach out for help to me and my friends who have suffered our own losses. You can send me your phone number to me at my e-mail address ronaldtipton@gmail.com. We can arrange a Zoom call. You're fourteen hours ahead of me.
    Ron
    Retiredindelaware.blogspot.com

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  43. Andrew, I don't know if you received my previous comment so I'll try again. I don't know you or your partner Ray but please accept my condolences on your loss. Losing one's partner is perhaps the hardest thing to do in life. Please feel free to contact me so we can arrange a Zoom call if you wish to talk. I lost my partner/husband of fifty-nine years in February. This is hard. Talking will help.
    Ron of Retired in Delaware

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