There were a couple of thought provoking comments on my post about Royal gays.
From a young age I was very attracted to men in a way I did not initially understand but at puberty it became quite clear but without any kind of physical clarity. I wanted men, but I did not know in what manner and what was involved.
At some point I realised that there was a connection between limp wristed effeminate men on tv to my desires, but that did not seem to be me.
I realised gay sex between men was illegal in most Australian states and was then and is illegal now in many parts of the world.
When I was a young gay man, gay men, and certainly me, were always seeking validation of their sexuality. A public figure coming out as gay was so important. It was a case of 'I'm not the only one in the world. Even famous people can be gay'. Every actor, every musician, every judge, every politician, every sportsperson, every famous person, dead or alive who was gay, gave me a validation for who I am.
And now even in my senior years, I still seek that affirmation that being gay is ok, and there are many of us, even Royal people. Each time I hear someone vaguely famous or extremely well known for high achievements, it further validates my sexuality. Many gay men my age will think like this, and sadly many younger men still will
Even despotic rulers like King Mwanga II of Uganda in the 19th century could be openly gay, stands.
Though perhaps not J Edgar Hoover, once the director the the US FBI. More modern gay people be pretty awful.
Tough gay sportspeople score extra points, for distancing effeminate gay stereotypes from uber masculine men, not that there's anything wrong with effeminate gay men, although I do have my own prejudices by way of 'no one loves a fairy over forty'. You just have to be able to carry it off honey.
A few year ago Australian soccer star Josh Cavallo came out as gay.
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I can certainly understand that need to belong and feel you're in good company. One of the privileges straight people have is that they're not constantly forced into considering their orientation. They think they're the norm! Gay people are so often on alert because of straight prejudice. So yes, the more geniuses, women and men,who are gay the better the company.
ReplyDeleteGo you, Andrewwww!
Your reflection underscores how visibility whether in royalty, sport, or public life has long mattered
ReplyDeleteI'm not far from your age group and I agree -- every person who comes out makes a difference. It's important for everyone to have role models, or at least mentors with whom they can identify, and famous gay people sort of serve that purpose.
ReplyDeleteHere in England, gay men were once camp comedians on the telly or dirty blokes in macs who hung out in public conveniences. Nowadays, there seems to be much more understanding and acceptance, far less prejudice and public figures are able to refer to their gay lives and partners without bringing the wrath of God down upon their heads. That, I think, represents progress.
ReplyDeleteI never thought about it but it but it makes so much sense. I wanted to know mother's of disabled children, so I wouldn't feel so alone. I think that's what we all want, to know we're not the only one.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many in the Trump cabinet as to lose count. Those out and in. Not that I would ever think you would associate with any of them. For an anti-gay movement, it continues to astonish me.
ReplyDeleteI've never bought into the bi-sexual business. But to each his own. It's often very hard to come out fully. My gay daughter (now estranged from all her family) spotted a close relative of mine in a gay club one time. Things fell into place then as to his secret life.
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I learnt long ago that "I don't see colour" steals identity and I have used that logic to extend into other minorities. If there's a part of your identity that's important to you, I want to see it.
ReplyDeleteI was genuinely surprised at the flood of "me too" when someone famous (sports or actor) revealed they were gay, as if the others saw it as permission to finally own up. When I was little it was seen as odd and wrong and the gays hid behind "normal" behaviour, but now many are happy to tell everyone. I do despair at families who refuse to accept and banish their gay child.
ReplyDeleteI too always take comfort when I find out a notable person is gay. Even Hoover.
ReplyDeleteInteresting it makes you feel better when another well noted person comes out as gay. Not being gay it's hard for me to totally understand that because for me, I wouldn't care, but that's me :)
ReplyDeleteIt's a bit strange that though homosexuality has been around for ages, it's still largely seen as 'out of ordinary', and like you rightly said they have to constantly keep validating their sexuality. Having said that I think over the years there has been a lot more of awareness, and in almost all spheres of activity one can find L or G or B or T or Q people. That is really some progress. It might be small. But it surely is something that we all should be happy about. At the end of it all, it's not about sexual orientation. It's all about how good a human being one is, is it not?
ReplyDeleteYou have given me a lot to consider. I have been of the mindset that it doesn't matter. Reading this and thinking on it, I do understand why it does matter to you. The closest I can come to that is the experience of our political situation. I li e in a very pro yrump area. Everytime I hear some anti yru.p statement, there is such a rush of gladness in me. Such a relief to discover I am not the only weirdo.
ReplyDeleteGood lord. The typos! I apologize.
DeleteWell I get that recognition is important to you. I just get to think that it is a label for you and I don't like labels. You are making me think now, of how society constructs their 'norms' and there is a rabbit hole of thinking about 'fashionability' but Molly is meowing loudly and needs feeding ....
ReplyDeleteI still find that moment of hesitation, when I talk about my husband. I wonder if that will ever go away.
ReplyDeleteI don't know anybody around me or in general who finds homosexuality not normal. Nobody cares, it's just not important. We have politicians and everybody knows that they are gay, some even married. It's just like being born black or white, your sexuality comes with your birth. Nobody can do anything about it. And I am sure that the catholic church has plenty of gay people. Sexuality is normal otherwise you are not normal. We have a nurse here she is married with a girl, but who cares ? Even my 103 year old friend doesn't care, her great great son is married with a man. I think these are invented problems, there are more important things in life.
ReplyDeleteForgot to thank you for your Christmas wishes, and as I am late due to my Firefox troubles, I wish you a very happy new year and stop thinking about things which existed in another century ! You are as you are, accept yourself, that's very important !
ReplyDeleteYou and I are from a similar generation if not the same generation and I know exactly what you're talking about Andrew
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