From The Guardian, a story about book clubs breaking up. This isn't about whether people in book clubs don't read the chosen books.
Karen Stillman, 47, a North Carolina native, has first-hand experience. “For over a year, four women would turn up to our book club without having touched the book, saying they hadn’t had a chance to read it. These women are all retired! How did they not have the time?”
Karen must be a working person, and she has no idea about how busy retired people can be. Where is all this spare time I am supposed to have? I have zilch, and I can't fit into a day everything I want to do. Oh for some boredom with nothing to do. I needed to get that off my chest.
On to other stuff, about Phyllis and Kosov staying with me at sister's. Sister, Bone Doctor and Jo parked here while they had a night in town, I think for Jo's 18th birthday. A slap up dinner, a visit to the theatre to see Beetle Juice. Jo had dressed up for the occasion and looked terrific, especially when she had her photo taken with Eddie Perfect. He looked so handsome in the photo.
Now to the personal. It is a bit of a battle to get Kosov to empty the recycling bucket into the big blue bag to transfer it to the recycling bins in the basement. I've told them before that I don't want to get up in the morning and see the recycling bag sitting near the door, but it was again, so I told them again. I noticed next morning it was sitting in the toilet.
As Bone Doctor et all were departing to the city for fun, I asked Bone Doctor if the blue bag was still in the toilet. She said no, but it gave her an opportunity to say that when P&K slept for two nights at her home, the sheets were a bit messy.
Shit! And that was what she intimated about messy.
I told Phyllis later that night, and pointed out that I was embarrassed and I was disappointed. He seemed puzzled.
The next morning I woke to find a long note on the desk. It was along the lines of Phyllis wanted sex but Kosov did not feel comfortable doing so in someone else's bed. The marks on the sheet were from eating chicken gravy, what I would call chicken curry, in bed. They do that here at home all the time, eat in bed. P&K were very apologetic about not leaving the bed clean, and so they should be, whatever the marks were, and asked me to pass on their apologies, which I did do the next morning with an explanation. P&K's personal hygiene is beyond reproach. Later, I received a return text from Bone Doctor to thank me for sorting it out, and no problems.
Whatever, my immediate family has never fallen out, and I will do everything to ensure it never does.
When Sister was here, I asked if it would be ok for Phyllis and Kosov to attend Jo's 18th family birthday party, and with a slight hesitation, Sister said yes. After the sms from Bone Doctor, she later messaged to ask if Phyllis and Kosov could make a curry for Jo's birthday party. Of course they said yes.
P&K and myself are in a relationship of a kind. It is not sexual, it is not romantic, and I don't have words to describe it, but I like it. Who knows how long it will last. It will be as sad day for me when it ends, if it does in my lifetime.
Delicate matters, diplomatically resolved. That's how relationships thrive.
ReplyDeleteDelicate matters, yes, but you handled them forthrightly. So many times, people are upset, but they give no real understanding what they are upset about. You tap dance around trying to set something right that you don't even understand. I hate that. Much better to be upfront and resolve the issue. I esp. liked that your explanation was received and accepted and the boys were asked to make a curry. Very nicely done all of you. Adults acting like adults!
ReplyDeleteOne shall never eat in bed, my grannies always told me that
ReplyDeleteVery diplomatic of you, getting the kids all sorted and no family war started.
ReplyDeleteHaving P&K in your life has, I think, been both a useful distraction and a healthy tonic following Ray's death.
ReplyDeleteFamilies come in all shapes and sizes and you, P and K are a perfect example. Right down to the niggly irritations one gets with family members.
ReplyDeleteThe worst I have ever experienced from eating in bed is toast crumbs. I cannot imagine eating a curry in bed!
Curry and gravy - so that's what the kids are calling it these days. /s
ReplyDeleteVery practically solved. If you know what the stain is, you can launder it appropriately.
Will Jay
Learning experience for P & K about leaving messy sheets (for whatever reason) when staying at someone else's house.
ReplyDeleteAlso maybe a textbook example of the complications of in-law-type relations.
It been ages since I actually read assign book. Actual discuss it. I guess there one not far from me. As I understand they were reading the Thorn Birds. I saw on T.V ages ago. The person I knew who went to it thought the people in book was bunch snobs. But at first I thought she was talking about the group.
ReplyDeleteHa! So true about having a busy retired life. I don't have many outside activities but never seem to have much free time now. I have been in a monthly book club for the past 2 years, and sometimes I don't read the book, or much of it, but always fess up.
ReplyDeleteI have always had the rule of no food in the bedrooms, which came from my mother. I am aghast now that the grandchildren have snacks in their bedroom.
I feel if I joined a book club--my church has one--the universe would absolutely conspire against me reading that book in time to discuss it.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you have someone in your life and that you are happy. I used to be in the Book of the Month Club decades ago, but now I just read only non fiction. I get books second hand because the costs for just about everything have gone through the roof.
ReplyDeleteI am retired and not at all busy, yet still don't find time to read my way through a stack of books at my bedside. I'm online too much, being slow with typing and then looking at real estate, fancy houses that I could never afford and far too big for me to be cleaning, but as long as dreams are free, I will look. Then I spend an hour or so with the newspaper, reading and doing the puzzles pages. Yesterday I left the TV OFF, and will do so again today and get through at least two of the books because they don't belong to me and I'd like to return them sometime this century.
ReplyDeletePerfect timing for me, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteI have recently read a major book about the history of public libraries, and am thinking a lot about all the libraries that have closed already or will be closing soon. I wonder if there is a connection with book clubs closing down.
The
ReplyDeleteAt least the stain was solved without fuss, best to know what so the sheets can be cleaned accordingly.
ReplyDeleteNever been in a book club, wouldn't read them as I would be too slow and no work would be done in the house if I started to read, as I have to finish the book!
P&K, it is like having children for you. In retrospect it is funny, you take them out in company, they embarrass you and you have to apologise to the host. Also of course telling the children to behave it is part of family life ;)
ReplyDeleteYour life is certainly not boring with those two around
ReplyDeleteTea (and coffee) are allowed in bed - Food never!
ReplyDeleteI wonder about some of members of my book club……not only do they always read the book but they bring detailed notes along to discuss it. I don’t like to ask if they have a life apart from The Book Club
PS, I meant to say, Andrew that your relationship with the boys has morphed into a parental situation. You are teaching them to navigate a much different world than the one that they grew up in, and your guidance is invaluable to them. Quite honestly, you've become a family. I worried from afar when you took in a stranger, but this could not have possibly worked out better for you...and them.
ReplyDeleteChosen family. Codependency. I do find time to read the books, but most book clubs read boring books.
ReplyDeleteYour relationship with P and K works and is mutually beneficial. I admire the way you handled the family queries - I find that sort of thing tough.
ReplyDeleteAlison in Devon x
Like most children, P and K will grow up and move away eventually, but I think (hope) they will always remain in touch with you, because you are as important to them as they are to you.
ReplyDeleteWell done on the adulting Andrew and also on your new family for family it is no matter the construction.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
Wonderful job on handling the sheet situation.
ReplyDeleteSounds like a friends-family situation. I'm glad they are there for you, Andrew.
Sandra sandracox.blogspot.com
Yikes! What a potentially embarrassing situation! I'm glad you were able to sort it out to everyone's satisfaction. It's great how Phyllis and Kosov are becoming part of your extended family.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you got the sheets all sorted out.
ReplyDeleteYou guys have formed a family group. It will probably last a long time even if the boys do move out one day.
I agree with RedPat about your household dynamics. The story about the sheets made me giggle. I used to have no qualms about intimacy in someone else's bed but would never eat there. lol Best wishes!
ReplyDeleteYou are very diplomatic in resolving family issues. Your boys are part of your entire big family now.
ReplyDelete