A shiny new thing

I found a new barber and the shop looked quite smart. It would be $5 more for a haircut, but I am an adventurous soul...in some areas. Alas, it is popular and was booked out.

I returned to the one I had been going to for a year or more, which wasn't bad when I first visited but it has deteriorated. I never see the same barber twice, and the last two different guys have been quite rough with their buzz cutting machines. 

As I was looking into the mirror in front of me, watching the reflection of the passing parade of pedestrians outside the salon, I spied something unusual about a passing tram. Was it our sole new operational G Class tram? 

With the reflection confusing me about direction, I did eventually work out it was travelling one more stop to the Flinders Street terminus. 

My unsatisfactory haircut finished and as I left the salon, the tram was starting off from the terminus. I can still walk briskly if a situation requires it, and so I did and caught the tram. I rode the tram to Victoria Market, and caught another tram back.

There isn't a figure available for how much a new tram costs, in this case 100 new trams bundled in with a new depot, maintenance facilities, etc. The figure for 100 new trams and the aforesaid costs is AU$1.85 billion.

So, what did I think? Just wonderful. It was smooth, quiet and felt quite luxurious. It is better insulated from the tracks, the aircon noise wasn't noticeable, the internal passenger information displays were very well thought out. The only fault I noticed was some internal panel rattle as the tram crossed other tram tracks at right angles. 

Some trivia for you, in spite of spinner Adam Chandler (I'm disappointed in you Adam) fronting a video suggesting Melbourne has had a great mix of tram lettering numbering, not really. In order from the early 20th century, we had V Class, W, X, Y, Z, A, B, C, D, E, and we skip F Class, to G Class. OK, there was an L Class thrown in too, but really, it does not need super intelligence to guess why F Class was omitted. The thing is, had Yarra Trams or Department of Transport just admitted it wanted to avoid F Class for the obvious reasons, it would have been refreshing honesty, we'd have a chuckle and move on.

Externally it is a bit weird looking, but we'll get used to it. I took these photos after I left the tram. 

For the more nerdy of you, modern trams pull a lot of electricity from the substations via the overhead wires. These trams have batteries which the tram uses to uses to even out power draws. New substations were not required for these trams. 

Less Serious

This post is kind of like a Sunday Selections. I haven't posted many photos of late. 

The tram approaches the tram stop at New Preston Tram Depot stop from the distance. Once out of the city, trams only stop if someone wants to get on or off. If you sit on the seat within the shelter, you can't see the tram coming and if the driver can't see you as they approach, they could go straight past. Meanwhile, the other end of the shelter is clear glass. A Yarra Trams advertising slogan once was 'Think like a passenger', for their staff. Perhaps Yarra Trams should have thought like a passenger at this tram stop. Idiots, idiots and imbeciels. . 

Jass with her friend Amber. 

Stomach unprotected and eyes closed. She trusts us.

They could do with a repaint, but I do like these Russian style dolls. 

Monday was a dramatic sunrise. 

And there was more drama below where a motorist got in the way of a tram in an unimaginable manner and they bumped together.

 

It was all over in ten minutes, I guess details quickly exchanged. The car driver was wearing a full length overcoat while driving, far too restrictive for driving, in my opinion. You know, cars do have heating and can make you very toastily warm.

Incompetents abound. 

Relief and rant

Ray's relatives left yesterday morning. As lovely as the couple are, it is a bit of a relief, but also very sad as it is unlikely I will ever see them again. I had three dinners out with them and took them out on two long day trips, and they were very appreciative, and I heard about all the people I know in Ray's northern English city. They have flown to Bali, and four days later supposed to fly via Bahrain to England. Their flight has been cancelled, and alternative arrangements will be made.

A huge security guard company recently collapsed and the owner has fled overseas. We are told they underpaid security immigrant and student workers, insisting the students work more hours than they are allowed. There were many who were not paid. Superannuation was not paid, the responsibility of our tax department, and a huge amount was owed in unpaid taxes. There was sexual harassment of staff and eyes turned blind by the companies that used the security company. 

"Has collapsed owing tens of thousands/hundreds of thousands/millions in tax payments to the government", is a phrase we almost hear daily, well maybe weekly. This is an absolute disgrace. It is money lost that will have to made up by all taxpayers. There is really something seriously wrong in our tax department when it lets go unpaid tax and unpaid workers' superannuation for long periods. Never mind that the owner of the company should have had his passport blocked. He won't return to face the music.

I will shop on Thursday before a dental appointment in the afternoon. Otherwise, nothing more this week until Sunday when it will be a great niece's 12th birthday celebration. Ray's and Mother's used to be celebrated at the same time. 

A friend is just about to clear from a Covid infection. It is ages since I've heard of anyone having Covid, but the beast is still with us. She was well vaccinated and so her symptoms were mild.

Why does one Yarra Trams tram driver ring the gong seven different times when passing by (to warn flying bats I guess) and the next driver does not ring the gong at all? Yarra Trams provided an excellent service for attendees at the Grand Prix, but bugger the locals. It was awful to try to get anywhere by tram. Thank goodness for the new Metro tunnel train. 

The Chinese cult 'religion' Falun Gong has a performance called Shen Yun happening around Australia, in Melbourne at a place I didn't know, but what we call Jeff's Shed. I am bombarded by advertising for the show on YouTube. But let me tell you the organisers, if you want to advertise in Australia, at the very least use Australian voices to promote the show, and not American. I can wear American car advertisements with the steering wheel on the wrong side as the cars travel along beautiful coastal roads, because there is an Australian voice over, and I know the the ads cost a lot to make.  It may be an urban myth, but I remember a remark from Germany. 'If you want to buy something from us, we speak perfect English. If you want to sell us something, sorry, we don't understand English'. Not using an Australian voice over for Shen Yun really pisses me off.                                                                               

Hopefully something less whiny tomorrow.

Ghost Trams

There was some botheration in Chapel Street last Saturday night, with hoons doing car burnouts and general bad and risky driving. I suppose the Route 78 tram was disrupted, probably just running from North Richmond to Toorak Road where it can turn back a short distance past the beginning of Chapel Street. It was also a possible a tram could run from the southern Balaclava terminus to Dandenong Road. That still leaves quite a gap in between. 

I thought I would take a look at the Route 78 on Saturday night, and down the rabbit hole I went. Route 78 is one of two Melbourne routes than don't travel via the city. It would probably have the highest count of hop on hop off travellers for its distance in Melbourne, and probably the highest fare evasion too. I've never seen ticket inspectors checking tickets. 

Here we go, and I'll try to keep it simple. Route 78 is operated by Kew Tram Depot a few kilometres from the North Richmond terminus.  That means when the service closes for the evening, all trams return to Kew Depot, via the North Richmond terminus.

The last three trams from North Richmond arrive at the Balaclava terminus at 1.18am, 1.37am and 1.55am, and the last service from Balaclava to North Richmond leaves at 1.24am. We can assume the tram that arrives at Balaclava at 1.18 becomes the 1.24 to North Richmond. 

But there are still two trams to arrive at Balaclava, 1.37 and 1.55, that need to return to the Kew Depot. Why aren't they shown on the timetable as returning to North Richmond then Kew Depot? They can't just go 'poof' in a cloud of smoke and disappear, so how do they get back?

Obviously they do return via North Richmond and Kew Depot, as ghost trams. They are not listed on timetables and I don't know if they show on apps, but after contacting my tram driver contact who knows all things trams, they do take customers passengers. So the last tram from Balaclava to North Richmond is not actually 1.24 but some time after 1.55. 

Twenty years ago, Chapel Street traffic on Friday and Saturday nights could be diabolical, with trams not moving faster in some areas than walking pace, or stationary in traffic for long periods. I don't know about the current situation and I have no intention of staying up late to find out. So, the above could be quite theoretical if the service falls apart as it used to on those two nights. 

I expect the same would happen with the other non city tram, Route 82, but your brain is already hurting so I won't check.

The service is operated by small and boxy A Class trams, one of two routes where they normally operate. They were the last trams built without air conditioning in the mid 1980s, and have high steps to enter. Chapel Street does not have one platform stop, all are at road level. Air con was installed in the driver's cabins at each end a number of years ago. 

An A Class tram. By Bahnfrend - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=37653884

Keolis Downer renewal to run Yarra Trams

The contract to run Yarra Trams, currently operated by Keolis Downer, is up for renewal. Melbourne has the largest tram system in the world and I care deeply about it, for both its history and how trams shaped our suburbs and city, and as being close to being daily user. 

Theoretically we have a tram every 70 seconds at our tram stop if travelling towards the city during the day for the ten minute trip to town. What actually happens is three trams will arrive together, just as we step out our front door and we will have to wait for a few minutes for the next tram to town. That's not a big deal. 

In the opposite direction we catch route 72 to Prahran and route 16 to St Kilda. Aren't we so lucky to be regular users of the worst two tram routes for on time performance. Of late it has gotten so much worse.

Having worked  in public transport for almost my whole working life and a user of public transport for the same period, with some good insider contacts, I do have some understanding. 

The operators of Yarra Trams have strict performance targets to meet. For on time running of trams, the company sometimes meet them. But how they do this disadvantages passengers.  There are various penalties to Yarra Trams for what it does wrong and so the company works towards minimising penalties, with a focus on performance statistics. What Yarra Trams doesn't do is to work the system in the best way to benefit passengers. 

EG. Two 72 trams are travelling to the city together when they should be twelve minutes apart. The late tram leading should be turned back from it city destination at a crossover point before the city terminus to get it back on time. Nah, the penalty to Yarra Trams is less for a late running tram than turning it back short of its destination and so the twenty minute gap continues with two trams together. As I write this, this happened to me today as I checked the app. Next 72, 2 minutes. It takes me longer than that to get to the tram stop. Next tram should be in 14 minutes, with a 12 minute service. No, 22 minutes and then one after 23 minutes. If this was rare, I could deal with it but it isn't rare and is our regular experience. 

On one of our tram models, a new door system has been installed. I don't know why. The doors hesitate and then slowly close, much more slowly than the original doors. I suggest double the time. As Yarra Trams admits, we have the slowest tram system in the world, and it's making a great effort to make it even slower. 

Then there is the standard of driving. Let me think. I've used trams in Sydney, Gold Coast, Germany, Austria, Amsterdam, Lisbon, Manchester, Budapest and Toronto and I found the standard of driving excellent in every city. Not so in Melbourne. The standard is erratic and sometimes just dreadful. I suppose about one third of our tram drivers are women and generally they seem are better to me, but not always.  

I've already bored you to tears if you read all of this, but in conclusion the current operator of Yarra Trams has failed and the about to be renewed contract should not be in favour of the current operator.

Happy Holidays

I've already complained to Yarra Trams about public announcements and now I will complain about our ABC national broadcaster, tv, radio and the internet about the use of Happy Holidays instead of of Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

There is the blindingly obvious that many people are not on holiday, as you who are are served by someone in a restaurant or pay at a petrol station for your fuel. Happy Holidays is such a middle class wish, taking no account of those who serve you and collect your rubbish while you are having Happy Holidays. Lordy, in Australia there are poor and or lonely people who have a miserable Christmas and certainly no happy holidays.

After forty years of workplace Christmas parties with Buddhists, Jews, Muslims and Hindus and their children, I don't think any had an objection to the Australian cultural celebration of Christmas. Most Australians are not religious and Christmas fun is just our culture. 

Yet ABC with the political correctness (I hate using that term) of Happy Holidays, the ABC also has dinosaurs like McNamara who see no future for electric cars and questions whether electric storage batteries actually work. 

Jesus effing christ. It does my head in. Maybe I need to change to ABC Classic (music). Perhaps there I will be wished Seasons Greetings, which I will be quite happy with. 

A Saturday

It's a strange time to publish for me, I know. I blame the change to daylight saving time overnight.

I tuned in and out of Saturday's tv broadcast of the Aussie Rules football grand final match. It was quite exciting I suppose as the scores remained close to the end, with Collingwood triumphant over Brisbane Lions by a small margin. 

The pre match entertainment was the pop group Kiss, who performed very well but don't tell me they weren't lip syncing. Never mind. It was really good entertainment, enhanced by an army of prepubescent dancers. It was good to see real men performing on stage and not the heavily made up and styled nancy boys we see now. 

I noted during the performance that the lead singer shaves under his arms. Yes, I expect I am the only person in the world to notice such trivia. As long as not prickly cut, nicer to lick. 

I don't know anything about Kate Miller-Heidke but she is a well respected musician and singer, who sang our national anthem before the match began in the presence of both football teams. The camera panned along the line up of players as the anthem was sung with players looking solemn during the performance, except for one who chomped away on his chewing gum faster and with more vigour than a masticating cow. It was just so ugly and disrespectful. I won't name the boof head. 

Nor will I name the the bloke who may come out as the first gay AFL player. As soon as I saw him my gaydar dinged. The more I looked, the more I found to support my thought. We shall see.

In a shop on Thursday the checkout chap was chatty about the forthcoming grand final match. Like I care. R told him I was a Collingwood supporter. Did I hear that right? R, what did you say? I fervently denied being a Collingwood supporter. If I am asked, I say I support St Kilda but really I don't have much interest. I wonder why R said that.

"There you go again, correcting what I say in public", said R as we left the shop. No, it is a serious matter to accuse someone being a Collingwood supporter, when I thought you would know I am not. I don't qualify as a Collingwood supporter. I don't have missing front teeth. I am not a kiddie fiddler. I tend to pronounce the ing ending of words as such and not just in. My shirts always meet the waist band of my pants and don't expose my fat stomach. I don't walk around with a packet of Winfield smokes tucked in my tee shirt sleeve. I am not balding at the front and have long thin straggly home bleach dyed blond hair at the back. I don't have a baby to tell 'shut the fuck up' when they are crying. 

Mind, when I was younger I did tend to correct R on detail as he was speaking. I stopped doing that quite some years ago. He is chatty and gets things wrong, but mostly it doesn't matter. I only correct him now if it is important and being accused of being a Collingwood supporter was. 

A blogger or two have recently mentioned how their partners are not talkative when they themselves are. I am not the talkative one about important things, partly because the more I say, the more trouble I get into. I also like to think about things before responding. I would like to chat easily but I've learnt that it is unwise. 

We were sitting in Prahran Square this morning, enjoying the sharing of a roast pork sandwich with crackling and nice coffee with lovely warm weather. Toddlers were running through the fountain getting soaking wet.  I checked tram app to go home. 9 minutes, we still had a shop to visit, 21 minutes, perfect for us.

We finished shopping, tram in 1 minute. We could not make that. 10 minutes for the next one. I realised something was wrong as we walked to the tram stop. The tram was still 10 minutes away. It remained so. The app indicated there was a problem but no detail. I swapped between the app and Twitter to find out what was happening. There was a stationary tram in the opposite direction nearby. A tree had fallen over the tram overhead electric wires. No trams anytime soon. In fact the line is still closed at 9.00 pm. We caught a bus to the Alfred Hospital and walked to St Kilda Road and caught a tram from there. It was 27 degrees and R became quite distressed and vowed to never catch a a tram again. 

This service to Flinders Street via City Loop is delayed

Maybe there is something I am not aware of but a few weeks ago some trains were stopped because of a trespasser on the the train tracks, actually a viaduct, between Flinders Street Station and Spencer Street Station (Southern Cross). Most suburban trains use this viaduct, so it was chaotic.

Football fans coming in from the northern suburbs, whose train was stopped between stations several kilometres away from the city, forced the train doors open after an hour or so. I would not have done this but if someone had, I would take advantage and escape the train. There was a steep embankment to descend and I could have managed that.   

My thoughts, the train was nowhere near the location of the trespasser so why was it stopped between stations? It could have at least proceeded to the next station at 5 km/h if necessary. From there are alternative transport means.

Even if there is a trespasser, why can't trains proceed at a very slow speed? I know trains can do this. I've experienced it often enough. 

People can be very stupid about things the do every day, but by golly if you jump down from a train and then descend a steep embankment, you are going to take great care. Unfortunately the said train line was further delayed by the need to check that those who left the train were clear of the tracks. Of course they were, they left by the left hand side of the train. Why would they cross over to the right handed side onto other tracks? Again, trains proceed at 5 km/h or even 10 km/h. 

Over an hour to check if a trespasser was clear of train tracks on a viaduct? There is nowhere to hide. Extraordinary. 

This is all down to Victoria Police and Metro Trains management and it is a disgrace. 

It may be an urban myth but I've heard in Thailand if there is a car crash on a freeway, a helicopter with a lowerable hauling claw comes along to remove the cars from the freeway. 

But wait, there is more. I expect all over the world tram overhead wires that power trams, and trolley buses for that matter, have dead sections of a few centimetres to isolate one part of the wires from other parts, so that the whole system doesn't to shut down if the electrical problem. There is a dead section below The Highrise and last week at tram was stranded on the dead section. In the past, as I witnessed, the tram behind would push the stranded tram off the dead sections and there would be minimal delay. I've even experienced passengers out of a tram giving it a push off the dead section. It seems neither happens now and the tram stays there until an emergency vehicle arrives to push the tram off the dead section. The wait causes massive tram delays and inconvenience to passengers. A slogan of Yarra Trams is 'Think like a passenger', but I don't think it really does.

Private companies and government departments have become so risk averse to protect themselves, they unnecessarily make their customer experiences quite miserable.  

Does Sydney do it any better? No, its relatively new and small tram system is constantly being shut down for maintenance. Its two of three tram lines, the newest, seem to be worse than the older original line, so often breaking down with long delays until repairs. 

While Australia valiantly fought against England in football, some drug affected blokes with mental health issues entered an unstaffed signal box full wires and control systems for trains and began to cut wires. Part of Sydney's train system collapsed and there weren't trains when the football ended, leading to chaos. Why was such an important part of infrastructure so insecure? Over to you, Transport for New South Wales. 

So risk averse in some ways, but not in others!

Transport Tursday

Forgive the headline. I can't resist alliteration

After London, Sydney had the largest tram system in the world. Melbourne now has that world title as we didn't get rid of trams as so many cities mistakenly did. By the end of 1961 Sydney's system had closed, taken over by diesel buses and electric trolley buses. The replacement bus service was inadequate, in spite of the government propaganda at the time, and turned even more people to the private motor car.

Maybe I have put some of these photos up before. In spite of what looks like was chaos, the Sydney tram service was very fast and efficient. 

Taylor Square, a busy tram intersection on what became became Sydney's gay mile on Oxford Street.

Trams lined up to clear crowds from I guess the Sydney Cricket Ground.

Another photo of Taylor Square.

The last time we were in Sydney and at this location, I tried to visualise Railway Square as it once was but I failed.

Meanwhile back at Taylor Square.

And for this one, I think we are back at Railway Square. It would be described I guess as highly organised chaos. The trams loaded crowds very quickly and moved along very quickly. Thousands of people would arrive and depart from Railway Square. Trams can be so efficient at moving large numbers of people quickly, as can be seen now at the Australian Open tennis two week competition in my own city. Trams are rerouted, trams parked waiting and a huge effort goes in to provide a maximum number of large trams and adequate staffing to provide a good service when crowds travel to the venue and depart. Should a match finish at 2am, hey its happened, there will be a tram to get you to the city at least. (a 4am finish mid competition and five trams with drivers and auxiliary staff were still there waiting to clear what was probably non existent crowds to the city).

Yarra Trams fail, again

This afternoon I tentatively caught a tram replacement bus to the city thinking maybe things had improved. Again it was a bad experience. I waited forever for a bus, it was overcrowded and I had to stand all the way. A youngish woman sagged down in a faint and was pulled back to her feet by kind people and given a seat. A young man's backpack jammed in the door so the doors were partly open but that didn't stop the bus from starting off.

Google informs me that I spent 40 minutes in the City. I left home at 2.12 and arrived home at 4.30. That is 2 hours 18 minutes I believe,138 minutes. 138 less 40 is 98. So I spent 1 hour 38 minutes commuting for what would normally be a maximum return journey of 30 minutes by tram, usually less.

I assume 'Could not organise a piss up in brewery' is an old Australian term but no matter, it is a well deserved accolade for Yarra Trams that has provided a very insufficient bus replacement service for our tram system.

God help those who actually have to use the system to get somewhere on time.

On a brighter note, we, R who refuses to use public transport while the system is in disarray, and myself drove to North Point Cafe in Brighton and had a lovely brunch. We sat outside, the sun shone, the breeze was cooling, good food, the cafe was busy but not manic and the staff very nice. A memory came up that this was the place we first visited after the end of a three month Covid lock down. What year of Covid nightmare was that? I can't remember.

Living in a Nightmare

We are feeling very trapped at the moment. A car journey to the west, where we shop and visit for brunch a couple of times a week is now a convoluted route full of jammed up traffic and takes quite a long time to get anywhere at all. This is because our street St Kilda Road is closed for about three hundred metres north of us towards the city. The street is closed for tram track realignment past the new underground Anzac Station.

This a wonderful infrastructure project, but how we have suffered for a week and half with the same still to go. Trams are being replaced by buses for perhaps three kilometres. We have to walk about 7 minutes to the bus stop.

The bus takes a convoluted route and as like the traffic can't, the bus also can't travel along St Kilda Road either. It just takes forever to get to the city. I've used the replacement bus in all directions and after last Sunday, R has refused to do so again and I will do my best to avoid it too. Bad luck City traders and businesses. You know who to blame for such poor management.

Here is an example from last Sunday morning. 

11.05, depart home to catch public transport to the city to meet family. Walk south in the opposite direction for about 7 minutes to the bus replacement stop. There is no reason why it can't be kerbside and opposite the temporary outbound bus stop. It was a very warm 29 degrees and we don't walk terribly fast now.

A bus arrives at the stop as we did but the driver closed the doors and departed. We could see the bus was packed. About five minutes later another bus turns up. It was so full it couldn't take any more passengers and did not stop. Another five or more minutes the third one stopped and the about ten of us waiting squeezed on. It was then around 11.25.There had been other people waiting, including a family of Irish tourists. They gave up and I felt sorry for them. Others had left too.

Trying to turn into Kingsway was brutal in jammed up traffic. The third set of lights in a long cycle had us past Queens Road and it wasn't so bad then. More to feel sorry for as the bus had to leave behind about a dozen people in Wells Street and maybe half a dozen in Dorcas Street. I couldn't see that there was much chance of them being able to catch a bus there for a considerable time.

By tram from our front door to Bourke Street might have taken 15 minutes by tram. We changed from the bus to a tram at the Arts Centre and arrived at Bourke Street at 11.47, that is 42 minutes travel time door to city tram stop.

We are old men. We should not be standing on swaying, lurching and braking buses. No one offered their seats to us, unlike on trams, and I don't really blame them. We've experienced a few of these bus replacements situations in the twenty years we have lived here and I have never experienced one so badly organised and managed. How could Yarra Trams possibly think that a two minute service with medium sized trams can be replaced by a five minute slow loading bus service. What world do the planners possibly live in? It is a disgrace, and of course it is on the ground staff staff who unfairly cop the flak. Overheard, you are a tram worker who voted for him. Here is Dan's work in action.

We had a cunning plan to get home, train to South Yarra, tram to one stop short of home and then walk. The non disability compliant ramp at South Yarra Station, plus now a tram in 34 degree heat and the one stop walk home nearly killed us.  

Bad trams

Yarra Trams is the operator of our trams in Melbourne, the ownership being a joint French and Australian company, Keolis Downer. Just today I overheard someone complaining about the route 72 tram and I endorse his remarks as I too was waiting for a very late tram. He said 'the route 72 tram service just continues to deteriorate'. Spot on. 

Aside from one route with a 15 minute service no where near us, every other weekday Melbourne tram route runs to a tram every 12 minutes, with some routes being better than that.

Here is a collection of screenshots and note, there weren't any reasons for a serious delay to trams at the time on Twitter by Yarra Trams. Keep in mind a minimum 12 minute service. These were all taken during the day and evening peak times.

Ok, this one was an exception as there was a reported delay. Operator skill should quickly sort this mess out. Three route 5 together. Three route 6 almost together. 

A 22 minute wait for a 3 and a 16! A 40 minute wait for a 72!

Next three route 58, shocking with a 13 minute peak time gap.

25 less 9 is a sixteen minute gap.

33 less 11 is 22. It is supposed to be a minimum 12 minute service 

A 17 minute gap on a very busy route with a better service level around 10 minutes or less.

23 less 6 is a 17 minute gap on a very busy route.

When you see two trams together that means a large gap in the service somewhere. Two route 16 trams together, two 72 trams one minute apart.

I've experienced both public and private operation of our tram system. Private ownership is about maximising income by meeting government set benchmarks, no matter how much passengers are inconvenienced. Public ownership was far from perfect because of weak, poor and powerless management, but at least then the system was run for public benefit and operation for the greater good.