It's my life

Phyllis and Kosov want to travel on the Puffing Billy train, but it is booked out well in advance. I think possibly because tour companies take out block bookings for their clients. I may be wrong but I think if you rocked up on the day, you might be able to buy a ticket because of no shows, or whatever.

Next week I will be away for a week as I catsit at Sister's.  The last full day of my stay, Phyllis and Kosov will come by train to Geelong where I will pick them up from the station and they will stay the night with me at Sister's. The next day, Phyllis will drive us back home. 

They want to see the area, and so I told them to come early on the day they arrive, and lucky lucky, the Bellarine steam train is running on that day.

Today, with Phyllis at the wheel, we will visit The Eagle chairlift at Arthurs Seat. If the sky is clear, the views are great, as is the whole experience. I've done it before twice but oddly, I can't find the blog posts. Miss capital city of Peru may join us, or not, as I hope. 

I am mending well enough after surgery, and I took specialist advice to take painkiller medication if I felt pain. However, a subsequent call from the hospital pharmacy, once the person realised I was sensible to speak to, said, generally avoid pain medication if you can. Specialist doctors don't have to pick up the pieces of painkiller addiction. 

Yeah, I know. My mother was addicted to pain medication and her doctor had to make special calls to a federal health department to authorise her strong painkiller prescriptions. 

My grief at Ray's sudden death has reduced. Ray is a memory of 45 years, but I've moved on. I was prepared to live alone until Phyllis arrived into my life, and then Kosov. I can't believe how well I've done in life, to have caring people around me. 

I can't avoid mentioning Ray to Phyllis and Kosov on a day to day basis, but they ignore anything I say about Ray. They are not interested. And why should they be? They are 22 year old young men. I can't expect them to understand how lost I feel without Ray after being together for such a long time. 

No matter, I function, each day and every day.

Thoughts about words

I am not sure where I was going with this old post draft. 

About twenty years ago while driving Mother somewhere on one of our motorways, a driver did something bad in front of me and in the presence of Mother, who had slapped me as child for saying bloody, I dropped the c word. You c***. It is not a word I normally use. I can't remember using it since. I immediately apologised to Mother, who continued on telling me about her medical woes without seemingly to notice. Nearly twenty years later, Mother was correct and her medical woes proved to be fatal, with a lot of medical woes along the way.

While I've never mixed among the lower classes in England, apparently they use the c word without abandon. The word becomes boring with overuse and loses its effectiveness. But like gay men embraced homophobic terms, so too are women embracing the c word. I recall a beggar calling me a fucking old poof. He stated the obvious. His insult was a fail.

I am never sure if is appropriate to describe a black American as being black. I think the preferred term is African American. That's fine with me. Whatever. But I laugh when I hear stories of Americans who visit England describe black English people as African Americans, even though the black English have no connection to America. In Britain, you are British, and your colour and racial heritage is not so publicly important. You are British first. The plight of disadvantaged African Americans in the US is the equivalent in Britain of the plight of the disadvantaged British. 

It is a queer thing that so called African Americans, many who have been in the US for far longer than their British counterparts have been in Britain, yet they need to be distinguished as Afro Americans, and not just Americans. 

Whatever, black American, black British and black Australian, they all face discrimination. It is just not so in your face in Britain and Australia, and there are programmes to promote an inclusive workplace. That has just disappeared in the US. This Afro American term is very queer. The first black slaves arrived to America in the early 1600s, yet they need to be name qualified beyond just an American by the colour of their skin. I am not naïve enough to suggest your best mate is a black person, yet here, I do see socialisation between the Indian immigrants and white Australians, through work, neighbours and of course food. 

The leader of Australia's His Majesty's Opposition Party is one Peter Dutton, an extreme conservative, and he would like to do many of the things that #47 has been doing in the US. I gave some thought to a insulting adaption to his name and the best I could do is Duttrump. Yes, the wrongly named conservative Liberal Party leader is Peter Duttrump. 

OMG

It seems Phyllis has absconded with nine sets of my venetian blinds. Please keep a look out for my missing blinds for sale on Ebay, Market Place and similar sites. One large, seven medium and one small, as I was told by a police officer. The brightness is unbearable. 

Ok, they are away overnight for cleaning. Some of you may think slimline venetians are old fashioned but I think they work so well for light control and privacy. The blinds are the originals installed in my apartment and while the slats are cheap and thin aluminium, they have lasted. We've had them cleaned twice before and this time, they are so filthy after the sanding for repainting and new carpet laying. 

A slat either side of the balcony door are minorly bent. One was by Mother going out to smoke on the balcony when ABI Brother foolishly closed the door blind and Mother jammed the slide blind in the sliding door, and the other side of the balcony door was when I stood up quickly after having an old aunty chair doze, and I fainted. Slight damage to the blind but the scar can be still seen on my hand.

Lordy, how I am bleeding money. KaChing, KaChing, KaChing. 

Lost post

I hit one key and my whole post disappeared, leaving me only with an aitch. Strangely the labels for the post remain. Ah well, plenty of stuffs for you to see elsewhere on the net.

Maybe I will put something up later that is already baked. 

h 

The gravitas of gravity

How honest am I? This puts me to test and I fail. I justify my failure by that this is about multi national companies and who knows who owns them. They really ought to get their metering and billing processes right. 

In a 22 storey building such as ours, there needs to be water tempering valve every sixth level. This is about the force of gravity. Water comes from roof storage and the further it runs down the building, the higher the water pressure. This is managed by the tempering valves. Our building is over twenty five years old and the tempering valves needed to be replaced. This was done a couple of years ago.

We pay for our building's hot water delivery to our apartment and the gas to heat the water is measured by a hot water meter. So, it is a gas bill we pay. It was usually somewhere between $80 and $100 for two months. 

When the tempering valves were replaced, we received an email for the gas company stating we had been overcharged for out hot water gas and would receive a credit. Our next bill came indicating we were $20 in credit and there was nothing to pay. Over I guess the past two years at least, every gas hot water bill had indicated we were in credit. Sometimes the credit goes up to $22. The last had us in credit for $18. We've paid nothing for hot water for over two years. Shouldn't I be an honest person and inform the company? The company's processes are clearly deficient and I see no reason to inform it. 

Well, it just gets better. 

Our electric bill arrived, same company. It hasn't been a hot summer and our air con usage hasn't been high. I expected the bill would be on the low side, and it was, $266 for three months. This does include a discount because R is an old age pensioner. Our worst bill was probably about $600, many years ago. While I don't like companies automatically taking money from my bank account, I agreed to this with our electric bill to get a good deal. 

I received a reminder email reminder that on the 23rd of this month, the amount to pay would be deducted from my bank account, which is as it should be, but the amount to be deducted was $141 and not $266. Come the 23rd, $141 was deducted from my account. I had to go back to adjust our simple ledger for $125 less outgoing. This was a clear undercharge but it is the same again. If the company can't get it system right, not my problem and I will pay what they say I owe unless I suspect overcharging. 

While it was a few years ago my Mother knew she wasn't paying for her power for a bit over twelve months and it wasn't her fault. It is complicated to explain why, so I won't but she didn't receive electric bills. Eventually they caught up with non billing and Best and Number One Son took a look at the matter. Utility companies can only go back twelve months for undercharging. Nevertheless, she had a substantial bill to pay. She went down the road of 'I am just an old age pensioner. You've caused me so much stress. How am I going to pay that huge amount? I am worried sick about the whole matter. I'm trembling so much I can hardly hold the phone'. My mother was uninterested about the world beyond her couple of friends and family but she knew how to manipulate situations. 

I think one third of the bill was waived and the rest she paid off over two years. 

So I know the worst that can happen is we will have to back pay one year's worth of charges we should have been charged. Long may the company get our electric bill wrong and we have become very used to not paying for our hot water heating.

NYE 2024, the passings

I feel kind of amazed that I am still around in the year 2024. Many we know so well from screens and radio are not around to see 2024, although they came close.

I went through a few lists but these are who...what? Entertained me at some point or made an  impression on me. Maybe they were funny, maybe sexy, maybe so talented, maybe bad. Who knows. 

No special order and the photos are generally found widely on the internet.

Australian singer Renee Geyer, 69. (Fun person)

Australian painter John Olsen, 95.

Australian comedian/radio/tv presenter Doug Mulray, 71.

Australian performer Barry Humphries, aka Dame Edna Everage, 89.

English fashionista Dame Mary Quant, 93.

 

Irish singer Sinead O'Connor, 56.

Italian actor/model/politician/photojournalist Gina Lollobrigida, 95.

Australian Labor politician Simon Crean, 74. (Much admired by me and I remember seeing his parents frequently travelling on trams)

New Zealand/Australian comedian Cal Wilson, 53.

Australian Catholic priest Cardinal George Pell, 81. 

Israeli singer and actor Topol, 87.(I so remember my father singing 'If I Were Rich Man').

 

Australia actor Johnny Ruffo, 35.

Australian media personality Diane (Bubbles) Fisher, 91. 

US actor Matthew Perry, 54.

US singer/songwriter and daughter of you know who, Lisa Marie Presley, 54.

US actor Piper Laurie, 91. (She was in a good Australian film called Tim, with a very young and hot Mel Gibson)

Japanese actor./musician/composer/music producer Ryuichi Sakamoto, 71. (I was sad as I thought he was wonderful in the film Merry Christmas, Mr Lawrence. He was such a high achiever)

A scene from the aforesaid film, with David Bowie.

US composer/musician/songwriter/record producer Burt Bacharach, 94.

US actor Cindy Williams, 75. (Laverne and Shirley, she was Shirley).

US tabloid talk show host Jerry Springer, 79.

US singer/actor/civil rights activist Harry Belafonte, 96. 

US singer/fabulousness Tina Turner, 83. 

US jazz and popular music singer Tony Bennett, 96.

English television interviewer Sir Michael Parkinson, 88.

Irish-English actor Sir Michael Gambon, 82.

Spanish fashionista Paco Rabanne, 88.

US actor Raquel Welch, 82.

Australian entertainer Rolf Harris, 93.

Italian politician Silvio Berlusconi, 86.

And not a celebrity, just my Mum, Thelma, 89.

Removed.

I wish you all a very happy, healthy and calm 2024. 🍾🎇🧨

From the grave

Mother had ordered her children's Christmas gifts and they arrived after she died. Not another bloody Labrador dog calendar. If we don't get a better one, we will use it. Quality tea towels would have been better. They are very localised calendars and so quite useful. I'm sure at times in 2024 I will look at the calendar and think of Mum. 

Sunday Sod It

The drive to see ABI Brother yesterday wasn't too bad. R hates freeway driving and prefers not to. I hate freeway driving for different reasons, mainly people in the two right hand lanes not driving at the speed limit, or worse, varying their speed so much. 100/60 is not too challenging, surely.

I sold my old phone to ABI Brother and he is not particularly interested in the phone. I sorted a couple of things out on his phone and added two apps, the AFL, football app and the BOM app, Bureau of Meteorology. 

R was in a bit of a mood but we only stayed at ABI Brother's home for an hour. We discovered that he already has Mother's death certificate and the cause of death was aspiration. She vomited and breathed it into her lungs. Who would have thought that was the way she would go. 

We discovered ABI Brother is a little confused about the $10,000 he withdrew from Mother's bank account to pay for her funeral and then put the payment on his credit card. We discovered that he will continue to receive the carer's pension for thirteen weeks after Mother's death, around $500 a week. We discovered that, I guess as part of Mother's aged care package, he received a cheque for $6000 for Mother's funeral from whatever government department. 

I wrote down some arithmetic for him, $10,000 for the funeral, less $6,000 from the government equals $4000 divided by four siblings. So he owes us, including his share, each $1000. Actually it is a bit more than that but I can't remember why now.

We discovered he is going to sell his house and move to a retirement village. We took a drive around where he wants to move to and it all looks very nice. Every place looked occupied so maybe there is a waiting list. But then I think the company probably ensures every place look occupied. 

We discovered the gardener who Mother employed as part of her aged care package will continue to tend to his garden and he is now paying for that himself. 

We discovered the cleaner who Mother employed as part of her aged care package will not continue. I used his toilet. He needs a cleaner. 

R and I lunched at the Great Australian Bakery, very nice. Mother did not like it as she caught her hand in a toilet door there and refused to lunch there again. 

We were back home by 2pm. At 7pm ABI Brother rang. He had recalculated  things and he now owes us a couple of hundred dollars. Bro, what about the $6000? He was unsure. He is going to call the company who he employs to deal with social security tomorrow for clarification. Good luck with that Bro. It will be Sunday. 

Once home, I read blog posts that I hadn't gotten around to this morning. The clip posted by Yorkshire Pudding amused me greatly. It's lucky that Spike died before Charles became king and could say 'off with his head'. 

I've posted this before but it was some time ago. Spike Milligan was subsequently banned from studios by the ABC, our publicly funded national broadcaster. Aside from the humour, the newsreader's speaking voice is so interesting. The ABC was on the cusp of great change, from being a BBC imitation to having a truly Australian identity. I saw the newsreader out at gay bars a couple of times in the 80s and once I sidled up near to him to hear how he was speaking to mates, and there was nothing false about his level above educated Australian speech. That was how he spoke and it sounded nice in person.

Anyway, here is the two minute audio clip that had Spike banned.

Funeral wear

 I've never owned a suit. I hired formal dinner suits for a couple of occasions.

A few years ago R bought a blue suit. It is ok, but I think he looks better wearing other clothing. 

I have black pants of an ok cut, a variety of shirts, smart enough leather shoes and a decent jacket that can do for weddings, funerals and parties. 

Before we set off for Mother's funeral our Hair Dresser Friend was here at home with us, to offer comfort and support. She came to the funeral with us. 

At some point in a comforting way she patted my arm and then froze. I raised my eyes and head? Your jacket is Cashmere. Take it off. I want to see the labels. She was right, as the label says Cashmere blended with wool. 

I had no idea. I know it is a nice jacket and sits in my wardrobe normally covered with dry cleaner plastic. 

But isn't Cashmere very expensive? My hazy memory recalls a day when I didn't feel too poor and bought a jacket at a hugely reduced price for $180. It could been this jacket or maybe a hand me down from R, although he didn't know it was Cashmere either. Not showing, but the lining has an iron melt tear. All very strange. I should have taken a photo of the lining melt, and of the jacket on a hanger, but it is covered in plastic now. You'll have to wait for the next marriage or funeral for those. 

Disconnecting from the old ways

A few months ago, sick of nuisance calls, I unplugged the phone line from our phone. I left the power on to keep the stored numbers and the phone charged.

Mother was the only person who called our landline as she didn't like talking to people on mobile phones. This was sister's fault as she calls people handsfree from her car and it can be very hard to hear her properly. What Mother didn't like was Sister's phone calls. She happily spoke to everyone else on their mobile phones. I told ABI Brother that our landline was disconnected but he forgot of course. 

That was a few months ago. About four weeks ago I decided to unplug it from the power supply and take it away. For two days R did not notice it was missing. I mentioned it and he said I did that ages ago. No hon, I've removed the phone altogether. R was not sure about the wisdom of this. I assured him I could plug it back in to the power, which I did the next day. Two days off the charger, the stored phone numbers were lost and the batteries must have been just worn out as they would not recharge.

R put the modem up where the phone used to sit but still expressed concern about not having a mobile phone alternative. We could buy new rechargeable batteries but ah, under my bed there is landline plug in phone from the 90s. I would have had to move my bed to retrieve it so here is a photo from the internet.

So a  little more to add to the e-waste pile for disposal at the council tip transfer and recycling station. 

Of course if the power is off,  with 'fibre to building' the fixed landline phone won't work anyway.

Moving on tomorrow

Thanks for all of your nice comments on my last post.

The funeral went well and for AU$10,000 so it should have. Don't worry, Mother will pay. Well, actually it comes out of our inheritance. 

Our Hair Dresser Friend came with us for support. It was nice to have some glam with us and she is very kind.  

There were tears and laughter. Some of my speech was covered by others and so I had to adlib. R seldom gives me praise, but he said I spoke really well. I thought I did and I have little experience of public speaking.Tradie Brother spoke so well and on behalf of ABI Brother. He cracked a couple of times.  Sister being a school teacher knows how to speak to an audience. She did become a little messy but continued on. Firefighting nephew had us in stitches as he spoke about his grandmother on behalf of his siblings. He cracked up badly but recovered. The photo slideshow was terrific. 

Two of Step Father's children spoke well and it was nice that his side of family were there.

There were quite a number of Mother's cousins there, who I did not know but I did my best to mingle.

We returned home to a box of flowers left at our front door by a neighbour. I was emotionally exhausted and mentally drained. I forgot to take my phone to bed to charge and so missed the alarm going off and I slept later than usual. It was a good night's sleep but I felt terribly flat the next day.

It is weird but my dominant emotion is a feeling of being alone. It's not like Mother had any say in my life from my age of 16. It's not like she had money to give to me and for me to be obliged or dependant. I just feel so alone. Common sense tells me I being ridiculous but you cannot control your emotions.

 

A tin  to keep her Marie biscuits. They are a rather boring biscuit and not sweet enough for kids or even me. However, any dog she had company with loved her as she surreptitiously fed them a biscuit or two. Lavender spray helped her sleep and she used it elsewhere to stay calm. Oh lordy, the talcum powder, everywhere. The dog was Pooch, She loved all dogs but I think Labs were her favourite. A tin of barley sugar, that insured her sugar levels bounced all over the place. She loved chocolates and antiseptic Savlon would cure any skin problem. When she spilt a boiling hot casserole over my two year old brother and then smothered the affected area with Savlon, the doctor praised her actions. Not even scarred. Her tea cup. Clearly ABI Brother doesn't have a dishwasher. Her make up bottle. Cotton balls for her ears if there was a breeze and for as long as I can remember, she used Oil of Ulan on her face.

More flowers, as we arrived home. 

The day has come

Today we make our final goodbye to Mother. All of us have had our moments and she has been constantly on our minds.

R's sisters in England sent a beautiful bunch of flowers which R managed to squash into a vase. Later he separated them and rearranged them. They arrived while we were out shopping and returned home with our weekly flowers, that day a bunch of yellow roses

One bunch divided into three.

The Tuesday after R lunched with a former workmate and she gave him this small metal bucket of viola. So we've had flowers galore.

Mother's birthday present for R in March was a rather nice jumper. He has worn it a few times. Our last Christmas present was the guide dog calendar. Mother always kept us well supplied with guide dog tea towels, until they began making them overseas. 

With a little editing to protect the guilty and innocent, here is my speech for today's funeral. I've read what my brothers will say at the funeral but not Sister. I thought to lighten it all with a bit of humour and I will perhaps be able to get through this without cracking. 

-----

My memories of my 89 year old mother will remain strong, but my memories of a much younger mum are not forgotten.

I was seven years old when Mum rode our Christmas present, a new scooter down the long hallway of our farmhouse singing, “From Mummy and Daddy to A and G”.

She wasn't called Nanny Fud without reason. Once she mistakenly opened a stranger's car door and sat in the passenger seat while waiting for L (Stepfather). She rolled down Venus Bay sand dunes and another time careered out of control as she rapidly descended a hill and crashed into bushes at the bottom.

Her incident with the Pizza Hut soft serve icecream dispensing machine not stopping and her filling cup after cup with icecream was a classic (Very Lucy Ricardo).While we rolled our eyes so often, Mum's antics did make us laugh. These things could only happen to my mother.

She was a loving mother and at times gave each of us wise advice and comfort. I treasure the memories of my fun, stylish and vivacious mum.

Bye bye Mum. Travel well.