I had planned a Sunday Selections, but instead you can read my little venting rant, or not.
I took on one tenant last year and it was great. Phyllis is smart, artistic, a good instinctive cook, funny, well groomed, helpful, adaptable and observant of how I did things at home. Then his friend who quickly became his loving partner arrived, staying occasionally, then more frequently. I put limits on how often he could stay initially, but once Phyllis returned to see his family in India in late November, things changed.
I don't know if it was a misunderstanding or not, but the day Phyllis left, I asked Kosov if he wanted to stay. In my mind I meant that one night, but I wasn't so specific in what I said. Kosov just stayed on, without paying rent, with Phyllis paying $20 a week for storage.
Since Phyllis returned from India, he has been paying his usual rent, but Kosov is not paying. He was still paying rent where he was supposed to live until his lease expired now. From Monday the rent will increase by half to cover both of them.
Truth be told, Kosov could stay here for nothing. He is a very sincere person, whereas Phyllis instinctively knows the ways of the world and how to work situations. I think he now knows this old queen has been around the traps and is not stupid enough to be manipulated, unless it suits me.
I guess I mentioned my damaged spare bedroom wall, caused by the friend of Phyllis, Miss Capital City of Peru, by spinning on my old spinny desk chair before it went out for roadside collection. A couple of weeks ago, Phyllis confessed to that me he thinks he damaged the wall. Hmm, I was immediately suspicious, and rightly so.
Sure enough, about five days later I received a message from Miss Capital City of Peru to ask if she could stay for a couple of nights when she returned to Australia. I replied, ah yes, Phyllis set me up for this. Yes, you can stay two nights.
Sometimes Phyllis and Kosov do my head in with their noise, mostly when they are cooking. The range hood fan is on, music is coming from Phyllis' phone, with another phone on speaker while one of them is talking on the phone to relative, and between each other, they switch and mix up Tamil and English talk. This is fortunately brief and I can tolerate that. Often it is food being cooked for me too.
Miss Capital City of Peru asked me tonight if she could stay, paying rent, until the 20th of this month, two weeks in total. I said, I am sorry but no. I am very sorry and it is nothing against you personally, but the answer is no.
A third person living here would do my head in. I would be overwhelmed.
She took it with good grace, ok Andrew. Phyllis just told me I should ask.
I am not a fucking half way house for stray overseas students.
Tonight I gave Phyllis another lecture, for putting me in the position of seeming like an arsehole for not letting Miss Capital City of Peru to stay. The weather is not so cold now, should she have to sleep on the streets.
There will be no more overnight student guests.
In other news, I have a new great nephew, albeit a bit distant. Born to the daughter of the husband of my brother's ex wife. Surely the family must stop growing soon. It costs me a bomb at Christmas and birthdays.
Ex Sis in Law has just moved home, and I will visit her later today.
I don't know about your old office chair but my head is spinning right now. I had to read the paragraph about your new great nephew three times before I got it straight in this old raddled brain of mine.
ReplyDeleteYes, the husband of an ex sister in law is a bit weird.
DeletePhyllis sounds like someone who always pushes the limit of everything, hoping that people will just go along. Not a fan of that, not even for cooked meals:)
ReplyDeletePhyllis is slowly coming into line, Pixie. I suppose he does push boundaries a bit. I am now too old to tolerate nonsense.
DeleteYou're pretty good-natured to put up with their youthful nonsense
ReplyDeleteCloudia, maybe I make it sound worse than it is. They are both good guys.
DeleteWell done re the new great nephew. Having a newborn baby is more work in the middle of the night than a flat full of overseas students, but you will get all of the pleasure from the great nephew and none of the hard work.
ReplyDeleteHels, yes. Babies are hard work, as we discovered a decade or so ago. Lovely, but exhausting. Whichever parent is the primary carer, they have my full respect.
DeleteI know that I couldn't take that noise, it would do my head in. I like quiet.
ReplyDeleteJackie, it isn't constant, just an hour or so a day. At times I am involved in whatever is happening.
DeleteBoundaries are good Andrew and I'm glad you're setting them. But I would die if I had to listen to that noise. I need a load of quiet time. I grew up in a small house of constant noise and activity. I need a lot of space.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
WWW, it is amazing that you and I, who both grew up in busy homes, can no longer tolerate a busy home. It is a small dose that I put up with, and I love their enthusiasm about everything.
DeleteIt has been asserted that, save for certain maternal bonds, all relationships inherently possess a transactional nature. It is commendable that you demarcate the boundary and reaffirm the stipulations. Indeed, it is within your domain and under your conditions.
ReplyDeleteRoentare, we are all prostitutes, with the only difference being our price.
DeleteFor sure, my home, my rules.
If you own the flat, you set the rules. Don't busge.
ReplyDeleteI certainly do Tasker, my home, my rules. But I am a bit soft at times.
DeleteLife gets complicated, don't it?
ReplyDeleteIt do at times JB.
DeleteCan’t stand noise or other peoples mess, have music on for our doggo …she particularly likes jazz and Doris Day…when we go out .
ReplyDeleteThe lads have been a bit of zest for you though so hope they both listen and hear Uncle . Andrews advice
Anon, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. It will be as sad day for me if they move on, yet I am normally quite happy on my own.
DeleteI think the boys (especially Phyllis) know just how far to push the old queen but you have shown them who is boss. And I am sure you allow yourself to be pushed a little further if good food is involved. The Peruvian princess? No. Enough is enough. I doubt P will try that stunt again.
ReplyDeleteMerlot, correct. He won't try that again. The Peruvian sent me a nice text this afternoon, thanking me for allowing her to stay the two nights. She had somewhere to move to and is gone.
DeleteI"ve watched too many crime shows, just sayinig.
ReplyDeleteYou are scaring me, Strayer.
DeleteIt's good that you said no to Miss Peru. Yu don't want them to thinkanyone is welcome and come home one day to find the spare bedrooms bursting at the seams. I think just the two is enough and they do cook for you so there's that in their favour.
ReplyDeleteRiver, yes cook for me and pretty well do anything I ask of them. But they are 21 year old men and are quickly learning about domestic matters. They just don't know how to clean efficiently.
DeleteP.S. congrats on the newest baby. Being a somewhat distant relative, you shouldn't be expected to fork out too much at birthdays and Christmas.
ReplyDeleteSorted in my head. They get $20, the rest $50 once they are over six years old.
DeleteI like that you can't be pushed. I like that you speak plainly when it is required. There's a fine line between being nice and being used, and you seem to know exactly where that line is.
ReplyDeleteI must admit, I was pretty worried about the situation when you first announced it, but I think that you enjoy having them around for the most part, and I also think that they are good for you. I cannot imagine how you would have managed being alone in the big apartment after Ray died. They've helped you in that regard.
Debby, no one was more worried than me when I did it. What have I done? Just a few months after Ray died. What will family and friends think, and blog mates too. Am I grasping at straws in my grief? I've been asked why I did it many times, and I don't really have an answer, beyond I had the space and it would be good to help a foreign student, and interesting to understand their culture. I thought the company might be nice too. And then came Phyllis!!!
DeleteI may have said this in a previous post comments, but I think Ray sent Phyliss to you, or at least nudged him in your direction.
DeleteI prefer peach and quiet, but if they are cooking you a meal it's a small price to pay, but only for that time - and you are aware of this.
ReplyDeleteGood you said no, as you are not a halfway house for strays.
Congratulations of the new baby a distant relative..
Margaret, generally I prefer peace and quiet too, but everything comes at a price. The price is not high.
DeleteWhile the newly born lad is distant, his parents are an important part of my family, attending both Mother's funeral and Ray's memorial.
As the family expands...How much to give to each new member, my problem is when do you stop when they become adults. Congratulations on the little one.
ReplyDeleteThat's an interesting point Thelma. Maybe 18? Since she was about four, I've given my sister's daughter, Jo, an advent calendar every year. Sometimes traditional, sometimes filled with chocolates. She is seventeen this year. When do I stop? Should I stop?
DeleteAsk Jo if she is happy to continue with the calendars, or would she prefer something else.
DeleteRiver, I will do that. If I asked Sister, she would say yes, regardless of Jo's wishes.
DeleteI’m glad that you recognise when boundaries are being pushed, that’s half the battle. Sounds like you have it all in hand x
ReplyDeleteAlison in Wales x
Alison, I'd like to think so. Mostly.
DeleteMy mind explodes in trying to figure out how you are related to the daughter of the husband of your brothers ex-wife. Congratulations on the growing family, and on explaining the rules of civility to the youngins.
ReplyDeleteTP, perhaps no more than being part of my family.
DeleteI think you are wise to set boundaries. It IS your house, after all. I think you've been more than generous. Surely Miss Capital City of Peru won't wind up on the streets -- there must be inexpensive hostels or other places she could stay.
ReplyDeleteSteve, as I though, she had somewhere to go and moved out the next day.
DeleteI had the same thought as Steve Reed. ~nods~ I wouldn't like to be put in a position like that but you handled it wonderfully. Be well!
ReplyDeleteDarla, it did turn out that she had an alternative. Perhaps it was nicer or more convenient here, but not for me.
DeleteI am a bit confused with all the people who take you for a bed & breakfast, at least it seems to me like that. Try to learn to say NO when it's necessary. It's not good for your health to be stressed with all these people around !
ReplyDeleteGattina, because of its central location for everyone, we've hosted many relatives over the years. Not so many now. Problem has been sorted.
DeleteThe guys seem to be nice to have around but you certainly don't need another person there, Andrew. Good for you for standing your ground.
ReplyDeleteI do not Pat. Two is enough. Thanks.
Delete