Think back to when you were young, your hopes and dreams, your lusts and dislikes, your insecurities, the pleasure you had from successfully rearing a family, maybe not perfect, but you did your best.
Ingrid lives in her care home Nonna's Castle in Waterloo and she posted something that caught me. You can read Ingrid's post here, but a snip to read.
At the next table was a man sitting with his wife severely handicapped. She lay in a special wheelchair, couldn't speak and eat alone and what was awful was her look she always had her mouth wide open and two teeth were missing. At the beginning I really was afraid and disgusted when I saw her and admired her husband who came each afternoon to look after her.
Ingrid became used to the woman's appearance, and the woman referenced may have once been gorgeous looking, outgoing and the life of a party. In old age you don't know what people's lives were like.
One of Ray's sisters told me she wants a photo of herself in her young and party days next to her future aged care bed, just to remind staff of who she once was.
The use of the word crabbit indicates this is quite old, but it's still very apt.
"Look Closer
Nurse"
What
do you see nurse, what do you see
Are
you thinking when you're looking at me
A
crabbit old woman, not very wise
Uncertain
of habit, with faraway eyes
Who
dribbles her food and makes no reply
When
you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try"
Who
seems not to notice the things that you do
And
forever is losing a stocking or shoe
Who,
resisting or not, lets you do as you will
With
bathing and feeding, the long day to fill
Is
that what you're thinking, is that what you see
Then
open your eyes nurse, for you're looking at me
I'll
tell you who I am as I sit here so still
As
I use at you biddings, as I eat at your will
I
am a small child of ten with a father and mother
Brothers
and sisters who love one another
A
young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet
Dreaming
of soon her lover she'll meet
A
bride soon at twenty my heart gives a leap
Remembering
the vows that I promised to keep
At
twenty five now I have young of my own
A
woman of thirty, my young growing fast
Bound
to each other with ties that will last
At
forty my young sons will now grow and be gone
Af
fifty, once more babies play around my knee
Again
we know children my loved one and me
Dark
days are upon me, my husband is dead
I
look to the future, I shudder with dread
For
my young are all busy, rearing young of their own
And
I think of the years, and the love I have known
I'm
now an old woman and nature is cruel
Tis
her jest to make old age look like a feel
The
body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart
There
is now a stone where I once had a heart
But
inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells
And
now and again my battered heart swells
I
remember the joys, I remember the pain
And
I'm loving and living life all over again
I
think of the years all too few - gone, so fast
And
accept the stark fact that nothing can last
So,
open your eyes nurse, open and see
Not
a crabbit old woman, look closer, see ME
